


Give me the pain (then take it away)

by LadyOxymoron



Series: Submission Verse [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Cock Rings, Discipline, Dom Magnus Bane, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Light BDSM, M/M, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Praise Kink, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sex Toys, Smut, Spanking, Sub Alec Lightwood, Top Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-04 04:52:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12763569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyOxymoron/pseuds/LadyOxymoron
Summary: After a near death experience and in the aftermath of an argument, one of Magnus' jokes sends Alec on the path of self-discovery. It takes a lot more courage to let go of control than it does to hang on to it, but Alec finds out that he can let himself fall, as long as Magnus is there to catch him.





	1. Self-Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a PWP one-shot for my own twisted entertainment. Then Alec's voice started to hassle me and it turned into a multi-chaptered story. Alec is a harsh taskmaster and I found myself writing like crazy for days on end. I've already written 12 chapters and I'm ready to wrap the story up. I've been in many fandoms but I've never felt the urge to write a fanfiction, I'm pretty sure Malec broke me.  
> There is a loose plot but I'm afraid a good part of it is self-indulgent smut, along with some fluff and humor, and a smudge of discipline.  
> Since this is basically a shot at a BDSM fic, people are bound to have certain expectations. I feel the need to point out that, while I can enjoy reading heavy BDSM, I can't bring myself to see Magnus as an overly harsh Dom. I see him as an authoritative but gentle Dom, so if you are looking for heavy humiliation, slut shaming, over the top pain play, this is not the fic for you.  
> The story is almost complete so I'll update every 2 or 3 days, this will give me the time to go over the chapters for the umpteenth time and write the last two chapters.  
> The fic is based on the TV show but I had to keep Chairman Meow.  
> This is my first fanfiction and polite criticism is welcome. Rewiews and feedback will be cherished. :)

Magnus was _furious._

Alec could see it in the tense line of his shoulders, in the way he was gripping the kitchen counter, knuckles white with the effort. He tried to speak but his mouth tightened as if he was afraid he might say something he would regret later. He had been silent ever since.

“Magnus, I’m sorry. Please talk to me.” Alec was afraid to make things worse but anything would be better than the deafening silence, the raw fury.

“I could have _lost_ you, Alexander. I need  – I can’t deal with it right now. A shower perhaps. Rest assured, we _will_ have this conversation later.” He straightened up, releasing his grip on the counter and strode toward the bathroom without a single glance back.

After a few minutes Alec could hear the sound of the water hitting the tiles. Alec could use a shower himself. Magnus had used magic to clean him up and he had changed in fresh clothes but nothing could beat a hot shower. Possibly with his boyfriend. Magnus had made clear he needed some space though, and Alec respected him too much to deny him that.

Unsure about what to do with himself, he slid down on the floor, back on the wall, knees drawn to his chest, thinking about the events that had led to the current predicament.

 

**

It was supposed to be a routine mission, your run-of-the-mill demons. They had underestimated the number of demons waiting for them in the abandoned warehouse and things had escalated pretty quickly. His first mistake had been not calling for backup, thinking that they, that _he_ could handle the demons. The second mistake, and what had Magnus in a fit, was letting panic override his training, cloud his judgement and jumping in front of a claw meant for Jace when one of his arrows, already nocked and ready to fly, would have done the trick just the same.

The last thing he remembered before darkness took him was a searing pain in his chest, the thought of soft golden eyes and a dazzling smile making it sharper.  He had woken up several hours later to the blinding white light of the Institute infirmary, with a faint headache and low voices in the background. He had blinked his eyes open to a small crowd.

Izzy and Jace were leaning against one of the empty beds, pale and silent, identical expressions of worry on their faces. Simon and Clary were by the window, talking in hushed voices. Magnus - _oh God, Magnus-_  was sitting on a chair by his bed and he looked _wrecked._ Eyes closed, pain and worry etched deeply in the lines of his face, smudged make up and dark stains under his eyes, eyeliner and tears leaving a trail down his cheeks. Alec’s chest had hurt all over again at the sight.

“That bad, uh?” In hindsight it hadn’t been the smartest thing to say but his brain was still a little foggy and he had been trying for some levity.

Magus’ eyes had snapped open and Alec’s chest had tightened at the sheer relief he could see in the brown glamoured eyes. There was a moment of stunned silence before several voices had assaulted him at once. Alec had listened, taking in the fact that it had been touch and go for a while, taking comfort in the warmth of Magnus’ hand holding his own in a vice-like grip. In the way Magnus was looking at him, gaze raking over his body as if to make sure Alec was really there and he wouldn’t disappear if he as much as blinked.

Magnus had looked exhausted and Alec had realized with some guilt that he had been the one responsible for his recovery, probably draining himself in the process of healing his injuries.

Alec had listened absentmindedly to the scolding voices of his siblings, the soft cheers of his friends, only one voice missing.

_Magnus hadn’t said a single word._

After reassuring the overzealous group that, _yes_ he was fine, _no_ he didn’t have any lingering pain, and after submitting to his sister’s fussing he finally, _finally,_ had been cleared to go home with Magnus, with the order not to show his face at the Institute for the next day.

**

And that brought him here, sitting on the floor, thinking about everything that could have gone wrong.

By the time the water stopped running, Alec had managed to work himself in a frenzy. Guilt twisted painfully his insides and he felt the prick of tears behind his closed eyelids. What if Magnus decided that Alec wasn’t worth all the grief, after all? What if Magnus realized that he was too much trouble?

The rational part of his mind acknowledged that Magnus loved him and there was no way he would leave him over something like this. But the guilt kept overriding logic and he couldn’t think straight.

Magnus had never walked away from an argument before. He was the one insisting on immediate communication, adamant about talking things out before they festered and were blown out of proportion.

_We never should go to bed angry, darling._

Then again, he had never looked so angry before, so _distraught._

Alec couldn’t tell how much time had passed when he heard soft steps on the carpet. Bracing himself, he raised up his head to look at Magnus. He was wearing a purple robe, damp hair falling over his forehead, face devoid of any makeup. Alec thought he had never looked so vulnerable _._

Some of the tension seemed to have bleed from his shoulders but there was that heavy set of his mouth, some lingering lines around his eyes. Alec wanted nothing more than smoothing them out and chase the pain away. The thought that he was the one responsible for putting that look on his boyfriend’s face made his heart ache. He couldn’t help the small sound of distress in the back of his throat. Magnus looked down at that, and he must have seen something in Alec’s eyes because his face softened a little and he gestured to the couch with a small flourish of his hand.

Alec scrambled to his feet and sat down on the couch, watching Magnus walking past him, toward the small bar with measured steps. How Magnus could be so graceful in every situation, baffled Alec to no end. He was feeling awkwardly self-conscious.

“Would you like a drink, Alexander?” Magnus' voice was still clipped but that had to count as a peace offering, right?

“Please.” Alec’s tongue felt like it was too big for his mouth.

For several moments Magnus busied himself fixing their drinks, his back to Alec, working in silent concentration. Alec noticed he wasn’t using his magic and the guilt surged up again in his gut. Once the drinks were ready, Magnus brought them over and placed them on the small coffee table. Then he sank slowly on the couch, on the farther end from Alec, like a puppet with cut strings.

The silence stretched uncomfortably, both of them sipping their cocktails, until Alec felt like he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Magnus, I – _Please say something."_ if Alec hadn’t been desperate to get Magnus’ attention, he would have been ashamed of the way his voice trembled, how it broke on the last word.

“Alexander...” The pain in Magnus’ voice hit him like a punch.

“I’m sorry, I-“  Further words escaped him.

“I know.” Magnus' voice was softer now.

“I don’t know what I was thinking- No wait, I wasn’t thinking, I-”

“And that’s _exactly_ the problem Alec! You didn’t think.” Anger tinged Magnus’s voice again as he interrupted Alec’s rambling. “You didn’t think and that got you almost _killed,_ ” he said, voice sharp like a whip, face clouded. “If something had happened to you…” he trailed off and shut his eyes tight as if just thinking about it was unbearable.

“But nothing happened Magnus. I’m here, you healed me. Besides, I’d be offended if a flock of Ravener demons were the end of me,” he joked. A snort. Then on a more serious tone, “I’m sorry, Magnus. I was reckless. I promise it won’t happen again.” a pause. “The thought of leaving you, hurt me more than the wound on my chest did, Magnus. Your eyes were the last thing I saw before passing out.”

Magnus went still, eyes bright. A hint of a smile, just a small lift of the corner of his lips. After a few long seconds he slowly opened his arms. “Come here.” his voice was rough, an invitation, a promise of forgiveness.

Relief flooded Alec and he all but threw himself in his boyfriend's arms. That was what he had been missing since waking up in the infirmary bed. The warmth of Magnus’ embrace, the haven of his strong arms wrapped all around him, making him feel safe and protected every time. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, content, basking in each other’s presence, in each other’s love. They moved just enough to bring their mouths together. What started as a soft, tender kiss soon became fierce, desperate, all tongue and teeth, both of them putting what had been left unsaid into it. _I love you. I know. Please don’t leave me. I won’t._

Magnus was the first to pull away, fingers still running over Alec’s scalp in small, soothing motions. “You know, I wish I could make you understand how much you are worth. To me. To everyone else,” He whispered. “That recklessness of yours will be the death of me. It frustrates me to no end. Sometimes I wish I could just spank it out of you.” A hint of a joke.

Alec froze.

Blood rushed to his head at the thought of Magnus disciplining him like a wayward child, over his knees or bent over the bed, over one armrest of the couch. The thought of giving up his tight control to the other man, of being held accountable for his actions in such a fashion should have been horrifying. And yet, it was – it was _appealing_. Almost _liberating_. Impossibly _arousing_.

As soon as he caught up with his line of thought, Alec blushed a deep red. “You – You wouldn’t-“  A hint of panic must have showed on his voice because Magnus’ arms  were wrapped again around him and his voice was soft when he answered.

“Oh, darling.” and _there it was_. Alec hadn’t realized how much he had missed the endearment until it slipped from Magnus’ lips. He melted into the embrace. “You know I would _never_ hurt you.”

And Alec knew, there was nothing he was more certain of. “I know. I trust you, Magnus.” And he did. Sometimes the amount of trust he put on Magnus worried him, but he knew Magnus would never break that hard-earned trust. _Not ever._

But this was different. Alec _wanted_ this, he realized with a jolt. It should have scared him, the intensity of his desire for something he hadn’t even known he wanted until a few minutes before. But this was Magnus, sweet, _caring_ Magnus and Alec knew he wouldn’t have trusted anyone else with something like this.

But knowing he wanted it and _voicing_ it were two different things. He had never been good with words and this was beyond _embarrassing_ , so Alec did the one thing he was good at. He filed it in the little box in his mind, the one with “Impossible Wishes” written in bold lettering over it. But then, he had always thought he would never be able to be with a man and Magnus had proved him wrong. He had been able to force the little box open, fulfilling one of his greatest wishes: _being himself._ So maybe-

Magnus interrupted his thoughts by untangling himself from Alec, getting up and offering his hand to Alec in an inviting gesture. “I think a shower is in order for you. And then bed.”

“That sounds great.” And just like that they were heading together toward the shower, holding hands, giggling when Chairman Meow decided to make his presence known by stepping over their feet, almost making them trip over him. Hearing Magnus laugh, _giggle_ , after the emotional rollercoaster they had been through made Alec’s heart soar. 

**

Alec was sprawled on the bed, naked, hard cock jutting between his legs, waiting for his boyfriend to join him. Magnus had helped him with the shower, never leaving his side, washing him with tender hands, drying him with soft touches. After that he had all but ordered him to the bed and Alec had never been happier to obey an order in all his life.

Magnus joined him a few minutes later, taking in the sight, eyes darkening with desire. “I have to admit this wasn’t what I had in mind when I sent you to bed, darling.” Alec tried to protest but Magnus beat him to it. “I thought you were exhausted, Alec. But I’m not complaining," he said, winking. "Who am I to turn down a gorgeous, horny Nephilim?”

Alec made to get up, a soft snort of laughter escaping his lips at the statement but Magnus wouldn’t have any of it. “Please, let me take care of you, Alexander.”

And Alec understood. He leaned back on the pillows and smiled at him in acquiescence.

After that it was lingering touches, heated kisses trailing a line of fire over his body, golden skin sliding on his own, hot mouth on his aching cock, nimble lubed fingers stretching him until he was half crazy with lust and begging for _more_. The drag of hard flesh inside his walls, prying him open, filling him at first with slow, shallow strokes, and then almost pounding him to the mattress. Low moans, arched backs, mind-blowing releases, whispered words. _I love you. I love you too._

And if Alec enjoyed letting himself go and giving up control a little _too much_ , nobody could fault him for that.

He was about to fall asleep, spent, curled up on Magnus’ side, Magnus' fingers carding lazily through his hair, when he was hit with a sudden thought.

_I wouldn’t mind if Magnus took over._


	2. Wet Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wet dreams, introspection, some smut, and fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and the wonderful comments. :)  
> Let me say it to you, Alec's voice in my head is very persistent (and whispers the most delicious dirty things). I've already written Chapter 13 and I'm almost done with the last chapter.  
> I only need to review the chapters as I post them, so I think it's safe to say that I'll update quicker than I thought. I might be able to post a new chapter every day, every other day at most.
> 
> There is some smut in this chapter but Alec still needs time to process his new feelings. Bear with me, kinky smut is not too far off. ;)

_Alec was on the bed, face down, hands and feet bound to the bedposts with just the little leverage needed to keep his position. Chest flat on the mattress, ass in the air, hard cock dripping pre-come and bouncing with every hard thrust of Magnus inside of him. Loud moans and harsh breaths the only sounds in the room, in synch with the obscene slaps of flesh on flesh every time Magnus’ groin came in contact with Alec’s red ass. Alec could feel the sting with every deep thrust, a sharp contrast to the pleasure building inside him. It was glorious._

_Magnus’s firm grip on his hips faltered just a little, after a particularly hard stroke. With a low moan, he bent forward to place a kiss between Alec’s shoulder blades._

_“You look beautiful like this, Alexander,” he whispered against his skin, and Alec’s breath hitched. “Laid out before me, taking it so well.”_

_“Magnus, I’m close. Please.” Alec could feel the orgasm building, all he needed was just a bit of friction, just a little touch._

_“Not yet, darling.” and the gentle command in Magnus' voice was almost enough to make him come untouched. “You will come when I give you permission, not a minute before that.”_

_The words sent a spark of electricity down his spine and he moaned, a low, throaty, needy sound. He was faintly aware of a beeping sound in the background. It was distracting and he wished it would just stop._

 

Alec jolted awake with a start. He sat up on the bed and he absentmindedly flung out his hand to shut the alarm up. It took a minute to make sense of his surroundings. He was on his bed, at the Institute. With a raging erection.

_Great, now I’m having wet dreams, like a fucking teenager._

Thing was, he kept having these dreams ever since his near-death experience, a few weeks before, when Magnus had mentioned spanking the recklessness out of him in jest. He had tried to push the thought out of his mind. He was _ashamed_ of it. But the more he tried to shut his brain up, the more he _wanted_. And then the dreams had begun. They were a little hazy at first, just Magnus spanking him, the commanding tone of his voice. But then Alec had done a little research on this kind of fantasies and it had been his downfall. Now the dreams were more graphic, sometimes there were _toys_ involved. And the want had mutated itself into _craving_.

If he was honest with himself, it wasn’t just the sexual aspect of it. It had his obvious appeal and even thinking about it had him hard in seconds, his current erection a testament to that. But it wasn't just it.

 _No_ , he thought. _It isn’t just the sex_.

There was more to it. Control for one. Alec had always needed to be strong, focused, in control of every aspect of his life, afraid to slip and lose the mask carefully crafted to protect his heart. He had never dared to wish something more for himself. Blindingly following orders, shouldering responsabilities, and protecting his siblings had been the things that had kept him grounded. So he had turned himself into the perfect son ( _never enough_ ), the perfect soldier, the responsible big brother.

Until Magnus came along.

Sweet, sparkly Magnus with his quirks, his flair for the dramatics, his kind soul had stirred something in him. Sometimes Alec thought that Magnus had saved his life. He had allowed Alec to _be_ , to take pleasure for himself, to aspire to something more. And awkward, socially inept Alec had started to open up, to learn his way around emotions, to understand that he was allowed to be less than perfect and still be loved for it.

Just thinking about Magnus made Alec’s heart swell with love. He couldn’t imagine a life without Magnus at his side, without his contagious laughter, his soft touches, the smile he reserved only for Alec. The way he looked at him as if Alec was the most precious thing in the world, something to be _cherished_. Magnus had brought color in Alec’s life.

For the first time in decades, Alec wished to relinquish some of that tight control, to let someone else take it, to _let go_ , knowing he wouldn’t be ridiculed or hurt in the process. There was nobody else besides Magnus that Alec would trust with that.

And then there was the pain. But _no_ , Alec thought with a frown, _the pain is just a part of it_. Alec didn’t think of himself strictly as a masochist. He didn’t like the thought of pain just for the sake of it. Sure, reading about erotic spanking and light impact play was a huge turn on, he couldn’t deny that. What he craved though, what he _needed_ was punishment, and even more so the _absolution_ that came with it.

Being tasked with protecting his sibling at a young age came with a sense of duty, and being the head of the Institute added a whole new set of responsabilities to it. So Alec had set very high standards for himself and sometimes the pressure was so hard he couldn’t breathe. He was beginning to loosen up a little, to learn that doing his job or protecting other people didn’t have to come with sacrificing himself but old habits were hard to die. He was bound to slip, to _fail_ sometimes and, while a few months before the thought would have sent him spiraling into a self-loathing spree, Magnus had taught him that it was okay. He was allowed to make mistakes as long as he recognized them and learned from them.

Besides, pain had been a coping mechanism for him in the past. He couldn’t count the times he had trained himself to the point of exhaustion, the sore muscles a reminder of his wrongdoings. If he concentrated enough, he could still feel the sharp pain on his fingers from shooting too many arrows from the roof of the Institute when he felt particularly inclined to punish himself. It had never been enough but it helped for a little while. It dulled the ache in his heart, his thoughts were not as loud.

Magnus could give all of it to him: the great sex, the pain, the absolution, the _freedom_ to just be himself. He had only to work up the courage to ask. The thought had driven him mad for weeks and he was aware that he had been acting a little strangely around Magnus, trying to keep his secret as such. A few times Alec had to bite his tongue just to prevents the words for slipping out, unbidden. If Magnus had noticed something, he hadn’t said a word. _Typical of him_ , Alec thought with fondness. Magnus never pushed, he waited patiently for Alec to talk to him in his own terms.

He missed Magnus. He was away on a trip to recover some rare ingredients for a potion an important client had requested. He had been gone just for a few days and Alec didn’t think he had ever missed someone so much in his life. The first night, he had slept at Magnus’ loft, the place he was beginning to consider more like the home than the Institute had ever been. It had been a nightmare, everything reminding him sharply of his boyfriend. His scent and his colorful clothes were all over the place. His make-up neatly laid on the vanity in their bedroom brought to mind dark lined eyes and glittery cheeks. He should have been comforted by the reminder of Magnus’ presence but it made his absence worse. So Alec had settled for sleeping in the hard bed in his room at the Institute, spending a few hours in the evening at the loft to feed Chairman Meow and keep the small feline a little company.

Alec got off the bed with a groan. He needed a shower and he definitely needed to take care of the bulge in his pants. It hadn’t abated a little during his musings. He grabbed a fresh set of clothes and he headed for the shower. And if he stroked himself to completion thinking about getting on his knees for Magnus, one of Magnus' hands pulling at his hair and his voice whispering obscene praises to him, nobody needed to know.

**

It had been a long day. Alec sighed to himself, trying to concentrate on the report he was writing. It had started with an intense training session with Jace, followed by a boring meeting with some Clave representatives and a staggering amount of paperwork. Just when Alec thought he was about to be done for the day, a mission had come up and with all the other teams otherwise busy, the task had fallen on him and his siblings. It was a routine mission: find the demon, kill the demon. But now he had to fill in the report and send it to the Clave and he wished he had taken up Izzy’s offer to fill it for him.

After a few more minutes, Alec was sure that he had managed to write the report to the best of his ability so he signed it with a flourish (Magnus was rubbing on him it seemed), and took out his stele. He had just sent the fire message when a shimmering portal started to open in front of him and after a few seconds Magnus landed graciously on his feet in front of Alec’s desk, a huge smile on his face. Alec was to his feet in a second, barely registering the sound of the wooden chair banging against the floor. He reached Magnus in a few strides and he didn’t waste time before he hugged him forcefully to his chest, pulling back only to clash his mouth on Magnus’s for a bruising kiss, the exhaustion forgotten.

“Magnus, I thought – I thought you wouldn’t be back for a few more days.” he kissed Magnus again, a gentle peck on the lips. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Alexander,” Magnus said, panting softly. “I was able to find most of what I needed and I arranged to have the rest shipped to my loft. I was in a rush to get back to my beautiful Nephilim.” he looked at Alec, a mischievous glint starting to form in his eyes. “But I digress. Here, let me show you _how much_ I’ve missed you.” And with that he slid with feline grace on his knees, hand poised on Alec’s belt buckle, gaze raised in a silent request for permission.

Alec felt heat build in his belly while all the blood rushed to his groin. He groaned, cock rock-hard just by looking at Magnus’ eager expression. Just that morning he had been fantasizing about getting on his knees for Magnus but that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy the reversal of the roles. Magnus gave the _best_ head, after all.

If he had been able to think with his brain, he might have considered protesting. Everybody could walk in and see them like that. But his brain had taken a leave of absence, and his cock had taken over. It took him only a few seconds to think _screw everything_ and to throw his head back moaning a breathy “ _Fuck,_ Magnus, _yes_.”

Magnus chuckled. “Eager, are we?”

And then he didn’t waste time. He unbuckled Alec’s belt with steady fingers, pulled the zipper down and in a few seconds Alec’s jeans and underwear were pooled around his ankles. He took Alec’s cock in his hand a gave a few slow, teasing strokes. Alec moaned at the touch, gasping when he felt Magnus' tongue on the tip of his cock. Magnus’ tongue trailed slowly from the tip to the base, coming up again in teasing circles and soon Magnus had taken all of him in his mouth and had set a steady pace. Sucking and licking, grazing with just the right amount of teeth.

Alec was panting hard and when he looked down, he almost came at the sight. Magnus looked beautiful like this. Red lips stretched around his cock, glistening with saliva and pre-come. Alec’s cock jerked and Magnus moaned around it, the vibrations sending a jolt of pleasure straight to Alec’s spine. The sounds Magnus made while sucking his cock were sinful, almost obscene and Alec couldn’t get enough of them.

“ _Oh fuck_ , Magnus, I’m close,” he warned. He could feel the orgasm coiled low in his gut, ready to explode.

Magnus paused just enough to hum in assent around his cock, and then his mouth was swallowing him, taking him impossibly deep. Alec came with a shout, legs trembling, back arched, and Magnus kept sucking him through his release, swallowing all of it. Alec felt his legs giving in and he slid to the floor in front of Magnus, immediately pulling him in for a heated kiss, tasting himself on Magnus’ tongue. He pulled back, dived in again for another quick kiss and then he leaned over, pressing their foreheads together. They stayed like that for a while, panting hard.

When Alec regained enough sense to realize Magnus was still hard, he reached for his cock but Magnus swatted the hand away with a chuckle.

“Not yet,” he said. “I want to be buried inside of you when I come. I want to hear you screaming nicely for me.” He got to his feet and extended his hand to Alec in invitation. “Now, as much as I’d love defiling you in your office, I’d rather get back to the loft. There are many comfortable surfaces there and I want to take my time.”

Alec’s cock, totally spent until a few moments ago, started to stir again. He got to his feet with a moan. “Yeah, I’d like that.” he smiled. “Let’s go home.” He blushed as soon as the word slipped through his lips. It was the first time he voiced out loud how he felt about the loft. But any worry he was starting to feel about his boyfriend’s reaction vanished as soon as he looked at him. Magnus’ bright smile could have lightened up the whole room.

Magnus opened a portal with a flick of his wrist and grabbed Alec’s hand. “Let’s do just that, darling.”

**

A few hours later they were both curled up in bed, totally spent. Alec was on his side, a leg thrown over Magnus’ legs, his head resting in the crook of Magnus’ neck. Magnus’ mouth planting light kisses on his head, his hand stroking Alec’s back.

Magnus had kept all the promises and then some. He had taken his sweet time with Alec. _Twice_.

Alec had screamed, of course. _Who was he to disappoint?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I was able to portray a realistic Alec here. Ever since the scene on the balcony in 2x05, I've been thinking that Alec has a slight penchant for self-punishment.  
> Reviews and feedback will be cherished. :)


	3. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, the title says almost everything. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chapter. Thank you for the wonderful comments and the kudos, I love all of you. :)  
> The fic is finally complete. I need a new plot bunny because I'm going to miss writing. I had no idea it could be SO addictive.  
> Our boys are finally getting there, enjoy!  
> As always, advice and reviews will be cherished. :)

Alec was losing his mind, he was sure of it. He had been spending an unhealthy amount of time over the internet, looking up information about BDSM relationships and, while some things were too extreme and some others grossed him out, he definitely was interested in trying most of the practices he had read about. His cock could attest to that, since he was sporting an uncomfortable erection most of the time lately.

Other two weeks had gone by and he wasn’t any closer to voicing his desires to Magnus. On some level, he knew that Magnus would never judge him. But he was worried nonetheless. Alec had never been good at saying what he wanted and this was bound to be an embarrassing conversation. Definitely not something you asked you boyfriend over breakfast.

_Magnus, could you pass me the coffee? By the way, how would you feel about dominating me?_

Alec snorted. That would go well.

He was at an impasse, he knew what he wanted but he was ashamed to ask for it. He was aware that Magnus was starting to worry about his behavior. He hadn’t pushed at first but now he would ask if everything was okay on a regular basis. Alec knew Magnus sometimes was prone to bouts of insecurity and he resolved to act soon. It wouldn’t do to make him worry unnecessarily.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the footsteps until his sister was halfway across the room. He straightened up and hastily turned his tablet face down on the desk, grabbing a case file to keep his hands busy.

Izzy smirked. She honest to God _smirked_. “Watching porn on duty, big brother?” she asked, voice teasing.

“What?” he hissed. “No, I – Why would you think that?” He could feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment, the heat of a blush creeping up on his face.

“Oh my God, you totally are,” she said, laughing brightly. “Has Magnus been holding back on you?”

“What? No, no he – Hey, my sexual life is none of your business.” he half-heartedly glared at her over the file he was holding.

“But, big brother,” she said mischievously. “You made it my business when you asked me for advice.” 

She had a point, Alec admitted to himself. “Yeah, well. I’m not asking now. Was there something you wanted, Izzy?”

She rolled her eyes but he could tell she was amused. “Just checking on you, making sure you don’t forget the meeting scheduled in a hour.” she hesitated, the she added, “You seem to be a little distracted lately.” and with a wink, she turned and left, heels clicking on the floor.

 _Fuck, the meeting_. He had totally forgotten about it. His sister was right, he _was_ distracted. He sighed and went over the points to be discussed with the representatives during the meeting, willing his erection to go down.

**

The meeting was boring as usual but Alec thought it had gone rather well, considering. They were making some progress and Alec was hopeful. He believed things could change for the better.

He was back in his office, working on some papers when Izzy knocked on the door and without waiting for an answer strolled in, a cup of coffee in one hand.

“Here, I thought you could use this,” she said, putting the cup on Alec’s desk with a smile.

“Thank you, Izzy.” he grabbed the cup with a grateful smile. “I really needed it.”

“Don’t mention it. Someone has to look out for you.” She smiled and turned around to leave. She was halfway to the door when she hesitated and turned around. “Whatever it is, ask him Alec.” she paused, sending him a meaningful look. “I’m sure Magnus would be more than happy to indulge in any of your fantasies.” She winked but her expression was soft, concerned.

Alec chocked on his coffee. “Am I that obvious?” he spluttered.

“Relax, brother. I know you better than anyone and I can tell something has been eating at you.” she seemed to think about something and then she added, “Magnus is worried about you, you know.”

“What? Have you two been talking behind my back?” He couldn’t help the petulant tone of his voice.

“Of course not. We stopped to chat when he was here to straighten the wards, last week. He sounded concerned, said that there was something off about you and asked me if everything was okay.” she smiled at him. “Just talk to him, Alec.” and with that, she was gone.

His sister was right. He needed to talk to Magnus, sooner rather than later. He was a Shadowhunter, _for fuck’s sake_ , not a scared teenager. He had asked advice to _his little sister_ , for crying out loud. If he had been able to talk to Izzy about having sex with his boyfriend, how hard could be talking to Magnus about this? After all, what was the worst that could happen? Magnus could always turn him down but he would never make fun of Alec or make him feel bad about it. Alec was sure of it.

His mind made up, Alec set on finishing the paperwork before going home and have a long overdue talk with his boyfriend.

**

It turned out, talking to Magnus wasn’t that easy. Alec had tried more than once to bring up the subject over dinner but one look at Magnus' face and he lost the nerve. Dinner had been nice. They had talked about their day and engaged in playful banter. It had almost been enough to distract Alec from the churning that had taken residence in his stomach ever since he had decided to come clean.

Now Magnus was fixing drinks for both of them, his back to Alec, who was nervously sitting on the couch.

_Well Lightwood, now or never._

“Magnus, we need to talk,” Alec blurted out.

Magnus went very still. His back was ramrod straight as he slowly turned around, his face a careful study in blankness.

As soon as Alec looked at him, he realized how that must have sounded. “No, no. It’s nothing bad,” he hastily reassured him. “Well, at least I hope so.”

Relief flooded Magnus’s eyes but there was still a little frown on his face when he walked to the couch and sat down, facing Alec. “What is it, darling?” He took one of Alec’s hand in his own, brought it to his lips and placed a kiss on his palm. “Is something wrong?”

“You talked to Izzy.” _God_ , that was not what he had meant to say.

Magnus’s frown deepened. “What? Alexander, I’m on speaking terms with your lovely sister, surely you must know that?”

“Yes but – I mean, you talked to her about me.” _g_ _reat_. Now he was reverting to the stuttering mess he had been at the beginning of their relationship. “She told me you are worried about me.”

“Oh.” Magnus hadn’t let go of his hand and now his thumb was rubbing soothing circles on the back of it. “I realize I might have overstepped but I _am_ worried. You haven’t exactly been yourself lately. I’m sorry if that has upset you, Alec.”

“It’s not that. I didn’t mean to bring that up. I don’t mind you talking to Izzy. I – I only wanted to tell you the reason I’ve been weird.” He paused, thinking about what to say next. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while but- “ he trailed off with a frustrated sound. “I don’t know how.”

Magnus’ face was painfully sweet. “Oh Alec.” he flashed a reassuring smile. “You know you can tell me anything. What is bothering you?”

“Nothing. I mean, it’s not – it’s something you said,” he confessed.

“Okay.” a hint of worry was back on Magnus' face. “Go on, I’m listening.”

It was thrilling, a part of Alec’s brain registered, being the whole focus of Magnus’s attention. “It was last month, when I almost – when I jumped in front of that demon.” Alec could see the shadow crossing Magnus' face at the reminder. Magnus hummed in assent and Alec took that as permission to go on. “You said.” he swallowed, throat suddenly gone dry. “You said something about recklessness. You said you would – you know...” _fuck_ , this was embarrassing.

Alec could pinpoint the exact moment Magnus realized what he was talking about. Understanding smoothed out the frown on his face for a few seconds, then the frown returned full force. “Is that what is bothering you? Are you _afraid_ of me?” he asked. “You know I _would never_ \- “

“I want it,” Alec blurted out, feeling the ugly blush spreading across his cheeks at the statement.

His words apparently hadn’t caught up with Magnus, because he went on worriedly. “When have I ever made you think I would-“ he suddenly stopped, eyes widening in realization, mouth slightly open in shock. “Oh.”

Alec needed to go on, to override the sudden urge to run and hide. “I mean it. I had no idea I wanted it until you mentioned it. I couldn’t get it out of my head. I – I did some research,” he admitted shame-facedly. “I want it,” he repeated, “All of it.” he paused just to catch his breath. “Only if you want it too, that is.”

Magnus’ eyes were still impossibly wide. He was looking at Alec with bewilderment and something else Alec couldn’t figure out. “Alexander,” he breathed. “Let’s get things straight.” he swallowed, hard. “ _You_ want to submit to _me_ in bed. You want to submit to me for _discipline_. Am I reading this correctly?”

It was one thing to think about it, Alec thought. Magnus spelling it out to him was an entirely different matter. Hearing it out loud made his brain short-circuit. He suddenly was very self-conscious, embarrassment flooding him in waves.

He groaned and turned halfway around so he wasn’t facing Magnus anymore, bringing his hands over his face to cover it in shame. “I’m sorry. I – _God,_ there must be something wrong with me.” his words were muffled by the hands covering his mouth. “I – I should go.”

He thought about bolting for the door but Magnus was quicker. In a heartbeat he was kneeling on the floor in front of Alec, placing himself between Alec’s legs. He took Alec’s hands away from his face and he lifted one of his hands and, _oh so gently_ , cupped Alec’s cheek. “Alexander,” he whispered. “Look at me.”

Alec slowly lifted his gaze and forced himself to make eye contact with Magnus. He didn’t see any of the revulsion he was expecting. Magnus’s eyes were warm, understanding, filled to the brim with love. Magnus smiled at him and Alec felt some of the panic melt away. Maybe he hadn’t just ruined everything after all.

“Listen to me, darling.” his voice was soft but with a hint of fierceness. “There is _nothing_ wrong with you.”

And Alec almost believed that.

“But I made a fool of myself. You - you must think I’m some pervert,” he managed to say past the lump in his throat. He lowered his eyes, not ready to read the truth of his statement in Magnus' eyes.

Magnus got slowly to his feet, never letting go his hold on Alec’s hand, bringing Alec up with him. He deliberately guided Alec’s hand to his own groin, never breaking eye contact. Alec gasped when he felt his palm coming in contact with his boyfriend’s impossibly hard cock. His own stirred in response.

“You did that to me, Alec,” Magnus said in a low voice. “I never meant to make you feel rejected. I was surprised, is all.” he moaned when Alec’s fingers closed around his clothed cock. “In fact, I feel – _ah_ – honored that you would trust me with something like this.” he swallowed another moan and then gently pulled Alec’s hand away from his member. “None of that now. Let me finish,” he said, sitting back on the couch and bringing Alec down with him.

Once they were settled on the couch, he started talking again. “I love you. And there’s _nothing_ you could say that would change that or make me look at you differently. Not a single thing.”

Alec felt like breathing was easier now. “So you don’t think I’m a pervert?” he had to ask.

“Oh, darling. Far from it,” he said. “I have lived a very long time. Nothing could surprise me.” he paused, something shifting in his eyes. “In fact, I have some experience in dominance and submission dynamics.” he winked and Alec choked on his breath, cock straining the fabric of his pants now.

Magnus bent forward a little and placed a chaste kiss on Alec’s lips. He pulled away and looked Alec straight in the eyes. “You were brave, Alec. For telling me. I’m aware that must have taken a big amount of courage.” another peck on his mouth. “I am very proud of you.”

The praise went straight to Alec’s already erected cock and he couldn’t help lunging toward his boyfriend, knocking him on his back. Magnus went down with a huff of laughter and then they were kissing fiercely, pressed against each other.

Alec’s mouth was on Magnus’ throat, sucking and licking, hips pushed down against Magnus’ in frantic thrusts, desperate for more friction but too far gone to bother with undressing. Magnus tried to turn them over but there wasn’t enough space on the couch and they ended up stumbling on the floor, giggling then kissing again with urgency.

Magnus was on top of him now, placed between Alec’s spread legs, hips moving frantically against his groin. Alec’s hips arched up, meeting Magnus thrust for thrust. There was something frantic in the way they were rutting against each other, like horny teenagers fumbling their way through the first sexual intercourses, and Alec couldn’t feel lighter. Magnus shifted forward just a little, to get a better angle, both  of them moaning loudly when they cocks were fully pressed together.

Alec’s back arched, his lips meeting Magnus’ halfway for a heated kiss. One of Magnus’ hands found its way on the back of Alec’s head, fingers closing around a fistful of hair. He gave a tentative pull, bringing Alec’s head back with a little force to expose his neck. Alec moaned, out of his mind with lust, and Magnus didn’t waste time and latched his mouth on the soft skin between Alec’s neck and shoulders. He bit down with enough force to leave a mark but not enough to break the skin. Alec almost came on the spot.

“Magnus, _please,_ ” he gasped. He didn’t even know what he was begging for.

Magnus’ tongue was soothing the slight pain of the bite now, sending exquisite waves of pleasure all over Alec’s body. Their hips had never stopped their urgent movements and Alec could feel the mother of all the orgasms building inside him.

“Magnus, I can’t – I need – _Fuck, I’m close._ ” his breath was coming in harsh pants and he didn’t think he could hold back much longer.

Magnus hummed in encouragement against his throat, then kissed a line of fire along his neck, stopping when he reached his ear to nibble at his earlobe. “Come for me, love,” he whispered.

And Alec did. All it took was another few thrusts of his hips and then he was coming, hard, shouting his release against Magnus’ neck. Magnus was moving quicker now, searching his own release against Alec’s body, rutting shamelessly against Alec, panting hard. He suddenly stilled,  back arching as he came with Alec’s name on his lips. Then he slumped forward, a comforting weight on Alec’s body, and they stayed like that, out of breath, panting against each other lips. Totally sated.

**

Alec couldn’t tell how much time had passed. They were still on the floor, cuddling in post orgasmic bliss. He could feel the sticky wetness starting to dry in his underwear but he couldn’t be bothered to get up.

“So, researching, uh?” Magnus teased.

Alec huffed out a startled laugh. “Stop embarrassing me. I’ve had enough for today.”

Magnus let out a quiet chuckle. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Alexander,” he said with a quick kiss on the top of Alec’s head. “It was meant as a compliment for your _dedication_.”

Alec snorted. “I wouldn’t call it dedication. More like self- inflicted torment. I was forced to walk around the Institute with a very inappropriate erection most of the time,” he admitted.

At that, Magnus threw his head back and laughed. It was a bright, beautiful sound and Alec could never get tired of hearing it. “Oh Alec,” he chortled. “No wonder you were acting the way you did, then.” he stopped to catch his breath and then added. “I hope it will serve you as a reminder to talk to me sooner the next time.” his voice was still teasing but there was a serious undertone to it.

Alec got up on his elbow to look at him. “I will,” he promised. “Keeping things from you made me miserable.”

Magnus sobered at that. He straightened up, cleaned the mess in both of their pants with a flourish of his hand and got up to his feet. “I can imagine.” he offered his hand to Alec, who grabbed it and allowed Magnus to lead him to the couch again. “And that reminds me that we have an important discussion ahead of us.”

Once they were both seated on the couch, Magnus made eye contact with Alec. “Are you sure about it?” he asked, the gravity in his voice matching the seriousness in his eyes.

Alec didn’t need to ask what _it_ meant. He felt another blush coming but he was determined to see this through. He looked back at Magnus. “I am. I think I’ve never been so sure.”

Magnus nodded and cupped Alec’s face, thumbs brushing tenderly his cheekbones. He placed a gentle kiss on Alec’s lips and pulled back, all playfulness gone from his face. “Then we need to have a serious conversation. Establish some ground rules. For both of our sakes.” he paused. “You said you did some research. Then you know what a kink negotiation is, am I right?”

Alec groaned, blush deepening.

_They were in for a long conversation._


	4. Ground Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A talk about rules and consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for you lovely response to this little twisted thing of mine. I love you all! :)  
> As much as I longed to bring our boys straight to the bedroom (cough*next chapter*cough), I felt I needed to write this chapter first.  
> I hope you don't mind if I glossed over the kink negotiation. We'll see them in play in the bedroom so I felt it would spoil things. However, I felt this talk about rules and consequences was necessary. There will be a little discipline ahead and I needed to make Alec's consent clear on this. After all, Alec's need to be held accountable for his mistakes was the catalyst that brought him to realize what he wanted.  
> I swear, last bit of talking, then we can enjoy the smuttiness. :)
> 
> Warning: There's discussion about corporal punishment in this chapter.

Alec blinked his eyes open and stirred over the silk sheets, one hand lazily reaching over the other side of the bed. When he found it empty, he slowly sat up with a little frown. It was early morning, a sliver of light filtered through the slightly open curtains, casting a soft glow on the room. The aroma of fresh brewed coffee suddenly assaulted his nostrils and he got off the bed with a smile, realizing Magnus was cooking breakfast for him. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence but Magnus was not a morning person and he usually preferred cuddling with Alec on the bed until the last possible minute, only to summon breakfast from fancy diners. Magnus usually cooked for him only after a fight or for special occasions, when he felt inclined to spoil Alec more than usual.

Alec arched an eyebrow, wondering what had prompted this last show of affection, heading toward the kitchen with a bemused smile.

Magnus was standing near the table, looking hot as usual even in a very colorful robe. He was finishing to set up the cutlery and when Alec’s eyes landed on the table he blinked twice, rubbing a hand over his eyes and looking again. Magnus had outdone himself. There were all of Alec’s favorite foods laid out on the table, a long vase in the middle holding a colorful flower. It oddly reminded Alec of Magnus.

“Hey.” Alec’s voice was still rough with sleep.

Magnus turned around and beamed at him. “Good morning, Alexander!”

“Who are you and what have you done with my sleepyhead boyfriend?” Alec joked. “Magnus, this is...” he trailed off, gesturing toward the table.

“Alexander!” Magnus said with a fake gasp, one perfectly manicured hand dramatically covering his heart. “You wound me. I’ll have you know, I am a very attentive boyfriend.” he smirked, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Besides, now you are _mine_ to spoil properly.”

Alec snorted a laugh. “I’ve always been yours,” he said with a smile. “Not that I’m complaining. This is great Magnus, thank you.”

“Well, don’t get used to it. It was overexerting,” Magnus said with a haughty sniff, belied by the softness in his eyes. “I’d rather save my energies for more _enjoyable_ activities in the morning.” he winked suggestively at Alec.

Alec rolled his eyes. “Normally I would be on board with that but the food is distracting. If I want to eat all of it and be in time for work, you’d better keep your hands to yourself.” as if on cue, his stomach grumbled and Magnus laughed.

“Very well, Shadowhunter,” he huffed. “Let’s enjoy our breakfast then.”

And they did. The food was delicious. The playful banter, the warm smiles, and the brush of their hands were even better.

And if after breakfast they ended up making out on the kitchen counter and Alec was 10 minutes late for work, nobody could fault him for that.

**

Alec was supposed to work on the assignment schedule for the next week but he was distracted. His mind kept going to the long conversation he had with Magnus the night before and he felt a thrill at the thought that soon they would try out the things they had discussed about.

To be fair, they still had some matters to settle. Kink negotiation had gone fairly smoothly. Unsurprisingly, they seemed to have the same hard limits. They had hit a snail when it had come to discussing sex toys. Alec was unexperienced and apparently his research hadn’t been that thorough after all. To Alec's dismay, Magnus had had to explain the purpose of some of the items. There had been some blushing and stammering involved (Alec) and more than some amusement (Magnus).

By the time they started to discuss about safewords _(“I trust you Magnus, why would I need a safeword?”, “Don’t be absurd darling. Of course you do.”),_ Alec was so tired he had to focus just to keep his eyes open. So they had settled for the classic traffic light system. It was practical.

After that, Magnus had looked at him with that soft, concerned look of his and had declared that the rest of the conversation could wait until the next evening. They had gone to bed shortly after.

Alec couldn’t concentrate on the paperwork, a bubble of excitement and dread building in the pit of his stomach when he thought about the impeding conversation. They had still to discuss rules and discipline.

It wasn’t like he was afraid of Magnus. They had spent some time discussing what Alec wanted to improve about himself so Magnus could come up with an adequate set of rules and Alec placed his complete trust on him. He just hoped to survive the night without dying of embarrassment. 

He was too distracted to work properly on the schedule, so he got up with a sigh and headed toward the door. He hoped a training session would help him lose the butterflies in his stomach.

**

The training session had helped a little and Alec was able to fulfill his duty as Head of the Institute with little distraction. He had managed to fill in the assignment schedule and he had even managed to stop to pick up Magnus’ favorite dessert on the way home. After the lavish breakfast his boyfriend had cooked for him, Alec wanted to give something back. The bakery was out of Alec’s way but the way Magnus’ face light up and the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled at him, made it worth the extra walk.

They had a pleasurable dinner, accompanied by small chat and light teasing and now they were on the couch, cuddling together and watching tv in companionable silence. Magnus hadn’t brought up their impending talk and Alec thought fondly that he was the most thoughtful person on earth. Magnus never pushed. He let Alec work things out on his own terms and for that Alec was usually beyond grateful. But now Alec could have used some nudging. He felt on edge and he wanted to have the conversation over with as soon as possible.

_You asked for this Lightwood. Get a grip._

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, then reluctantly he left the safety of Magnus’ arms and turned to face him. “Magnus, can we talk now?”

Magnus straightened up and shifted a little. “Of course, darling,” with a flourish he turned the tv off, giving Alec his complete attention. “Are you sure about this, Alec?” his tone was very serious. “We don’t have to do it if you are not comfortable.” he held up his hand to stop Alec from interrupting. “The sexual agreement would still stand. I believe we both enjoyed the idea last night.”

Alec felt warmth spreading in his chest. Magnus was giving him a way out of the whole discipline thing, while still offering him what was sure to be great sex. Alec was grateful for the offer but this was what had inspired the whole thing, Alec’s need to atone for his mistakes, to let the guilt go. He was sure he was blushing again but he made sure to look in Magnus’ eyes before answering. “I’m sure Magnus. I – I think I need this.” a sudden thought hit him and he bit his lip. “Unless, do you not want to?”

“Even if the thought of causing you pain doesn’t please me, I’m willing to give you what you need.” Alec tried to protest but Magnus held up an elegant finger and Alec let him go on. “I am not averse to the idea Alexander. In fact, if it would serve as a deterrent from risking your life needlessly, then I’m all for it.”

Alec huffed out a laugh. “I’m not that reckless.” at a glare from Magnus, he relented. “Okay, maybe I am. A little.” he smiled at Magnus' exasperated expression. “But I don’t want to force it on you if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Darling, believe me when I tell you that you turning to self-harm or worse, getting hurt because of that self-sacrificing streak of yours, would distress me more than deliver a well-deserved punishment.” His words made Alec blush again. “I’ve already told you I have some experience in dominance. Obviously, I have dealt out discipline it in the past. It’s not pleasant, for all parties involved.” he stopped to wink at Alec. “But it is more preferable to other outcomes.”

In the past Alec would have been jealous of Magnus talking so casually about other partners but now he felt grateful for his experience. At least one of them knew what he was doing. “So, how does it work?”

“It is rather simple. I set some rules, you abide by them. If you don’t, I will punish you.”

Alec swallowed hard. “What kind of rules?” He could feel the hint of anxiety in his own voice.

Magnus smiled. “Don’t worry, my dear. I have no interest in controlling your whole life. My only concern is keeping you safe, even from yourself.” he stopped, leaned over, and placed a kiss on Alec’s forehead.

Alec released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I can live with that.”

Magnus chuckled. “That’s the whole point, Alec. Keeping you alive,” he replied. Then he turned serious. “You will find out that I am rather easy to please. I have only three rules for you.” he paused, smiling warmly at Alec. “You _will not_ lie to me. Not when it concerns your safety.” Alec nodded, he didn’t intend to lie to Magnus _ever again_. Magnus kept going. “Good. You _will_ use your safe word at any point if what we are doing bothers you in any way.” he took Alec’s hand in his own. “You _will not_ put yourself in unnecessary danger. I’m aware that your job comes with occupational hazards and I know that trouble tends to find you. But you will think before acting. I won’t tolerate any recklessness.” he looked at Alec with an expectant expression. “Any questions?”

He was looking at Alec pointedly and Alec fought the urge to squirm under his gaze. _Fuck but Magnus was hot._ Alec could feel his cock stirring just from the authority in his voice. “No, no questions. These sounds like reasonable rules.”

“I’m glad that you find them reasonable. If you will break any of them, you won’t like the consequences.”

Alec swallowed hard and tried to fight the blush that it was sure to come with his next question. “And what about – you know?” he stammered.

“Punishment?” Magnus had no right to sound so amused, Alec thought.

“Yeah, that,” he breathed.

“That will depend on the offence. But on general principle, when you’ll break a rule, I will spank you. I will use my hand or any implement of my choice.” he paused to snap his fingers and a sheet of paper appeared in his hand. “On that note, I’d like you to cross out the implements that you think you couldn’t absolutely deal with.” he passed the paper to Alec and with another snap of his fingers he summoned a pen. He handed that to Alec as well.

Alec was confused. He frowned, setting aside the sheet of paper and the pen. “Aren’t you supposed to be, you know, In charge of this?”

Magnus grinned. “Make no mistake, _I will be_ in charge when it’ll come to disciplining you.” then his tone softened. “But I’m not in the habit of abusing my partner. If something on that list could act as a trigger for you or if you simply are really put off by some of them, you have your chance now to put them off the table. After that, I will call the shots.”

It made sense, so Alec nodded and picked up again the paper and the pen. One look at the list and Alec was sure he would never stop blushing. But then something caught his attention. Some of the items, implements corrected his brain, were already crossed out. Canes and a few items Alec had never heard of were crossed over by a straight line. He frowned. Did Magnus think he couldn’t handle the pain? It was childish, Alec knew, but he felt a little offended at the implication.

“Magnus, why did you cross out these?” He was aware of the sulky tone of his voice. “Do you think I can’t handle them?”

Magnus huffed. “I’m sorry big, bad Shadowhunter. It wasn’t my intention to hurt your pride.” he looked at Alec straight in the eye. “I never thought you couldn’t handle them,” he said softly. “I crossed them out because _I_ couldn’t bear to use them on you.” he was still looking at him, and Alec could see the truth of that statement in his eyes.

Alec’s breath hitched. _God how he loved this man_. He nodded slowly. It wasn’t like he was keen of feeling the bite of a cane, or something worse on his ass. It had really been only his stupid pride talking. Maybe Magnus was right and he didn’t have enough self-preservation, after all. “Okay. Then I’ll…” he gestured to the list and focused on it again.

It was a rather short list but Alec was sure most of the implements were really wicked. But nothing struck him as unbearable and he ended up not crossing out anything else. He vaguely wondered if he would regret it later.

Magnus didn’t say anything when he gave him back the list untouched. He just looked at Alec inquisitively and he must have seen something in Alec’s face, because he nodded in acknowledgement and banished the paper. “Very well. Now that that things are settled, what do you say we bring this party to the bedroom?” he chirped.

Thank God. “I say yes.” Alec grabbed Magnus’ hand, getting hastily to his feet, bringing Magnus along with him. Magnus let out a surprised laugh but he allowed Alec to lead the way. Halfway to the bedroom, Alec was hit by a sudden thought. He stopped. “Magnus?”

“What is it, darling?”

He hesitated. “Uhm. What do I call you? I mean – “

Magnus interrupted him. “I think my name will do just fine, Alexander. I quite like how it sounds on your lips when you come,” he said with a lascivious smirk. Then he seemed thoughtful. “If it makes you feel better, you may address me in a more formal way during discipline but that’s ultimately up to you.”

Alec was relieved. He did like shouting Magnus’s name when he came, after all. “Got it.”

“You know what I would like to get instead? You on your knees for me, darling.”

Alec _couldn’t wait._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated a long time about whether having Alec address Magnus with a title in the bedroom or not. I even thought a few times about changing it. In the end I couldn't bring myself. Or at least, Magnus wouldn't allow me to do it. He was pretty persistent. What do you think about it?


	5. Descent to Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just shameless smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your amazing comments feed my soul (or what is left of it), thank you! :)  
> So. This is the chapter that inspired the whole story. I started to write this one and then Alec started to whisper to me. He had questions and he pretended answers. I couldn't resist him, I'm weak.  
> This picks up immediatly after the previous chapter and it is 99% smut so if you are not comfortable with that, I'd advise you to skip it. If instead you have a dirty mind like mine, then grab my hand and let's go to hell together. :)  
> I feel the need to point out that this is the first time I write smut (hell, the first time I write a fanfiction) so I'm a little antsy about the outcome. 
> 
> Warnings (and additional tags): explicit sex, dirty talking, face fucking. (I can't believe I typed that.) 
> 
> Enjoy. (I hope.)

Once they reached the bedroom, Alec didn’t know what to do with himself. He knew they were going to play and he was excited and a little worried at the same time. Magnus seemed to sense his mixed feelings and gave him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. Then he straightened and his entire posture seemed to shift. Gone was the soft, relaxed boyfriend and in its place stood what could only be defined as an authoritative man. Magnus’ gaze was raking up and down his body, pinning him in place with its intensity, without the need for words.

Alec forgot how to breathe. He felt hot all over and he fought the urge to squirm under the scrutiny. After what felt like hours but had to have been only a few seconds, Magnus spoke. “Strip.” it was a single word but it was loaded with such authority that went straight to Alec’s cock.

He unfreezed and got his sweater off, then he reached for his belt buckle with trembling fingers. He made short work of the rest of his clothes and after he was done, he straightened up and looked at Magnus eagerly.

“Kneel.”

Alec’s breath hitched. He didn’t think he had been so painfully hard in all his life. He hastily got on his knees, hands on his sides, waiting for further instructions. Instead of talking, Magnus circled him and adjusted his position, spreading his knees a little further apart with a booted foot. He walked back in front of Alec and looked at him with an assessing gaze. He seemed to like what he was seeing because he gave an appreciative hum and walked closer.

Now his crotch was at Alec’s eye level and Alec swallowed hard and forced his hands to stay still, fighting the overwhelming urge to unfasten Magnus’ pants and take him in his mouth.

Magnus seemed to have read his mind. “What do you want, Alexander?” 

Alec didn’t have to think twice. “I want to please you,” he said in a breathy voice. And it was true, Alec realized. He wanted nothing more than to please his Dom. Here in this room, kneeling on the hard floor, it was impossible to think about Magnus in other terms.

Magnus’ breath hitched just a little and Alec knew that he was affected as much as he was. “Do you want to suck me off?”

Alec nodded eagerly but apparently that wasn’t enough for Magnus. “Use your words, Alexander. From now on I expect only verbal answers.” his voice was sharp as a whip and it did things to Alec’s gut.

“Yes. I – I want you to use my mouth.” Alec was past caring about how wanton that sounded. He couldn’t think past the hazy lust that had taken a hold of his mind and body.

Magnus’ sharp intake of breath was the only sound in the room for a few seconds. “Very well,” he said at last, voice rough. “You may undress me.”

Alec didn’t waste a second, trembling fingers flying to unbuckle Magnus’ belt. Making short work of the buttons and slowly lowering his pants and underwear down, exposing his rock-hard cock. He licked his lips and gazed up at Magnus expectantly.

“Go on,” Magnus said, pointing at his groin with a manicured hand.

There was something oddly exciting about being on his knees completely naked before his almost fully clothed Dom. Alec licked his lips again and reached forward, fingers wrapping around Magnus’ length, bringing it to his mouth. He licked the head with a firm stroke of his tongue and then he took the cock into his mouth, sucking and dragging his lips over its length. He was rewarded by a low moan and he started to set a steady pace, wanting to draw more sounds out of his boyfriend. Magnus’ hand found its way on the back of Alec’s head, putting a steady but gentle pressure there.

It was hardly the first time that Alec sucked Magnus off but this somewhat was different, more charged. He renewed his efforts, head bobbing up and down with vigor. Magnus moaned loudly, the hand on Alec’s head tightening around a fistful of hair and pulling, bringing Alec’s head back to look at him. Magnus' pupils were blown with lust but his eyes held a question. Alec nodded. Magnus adjusted his grip on Alec’s hair and then brought back his hips and started fucking Alec’s mouth with shallow thrusts.

Alec moaned around his cock and Magnus cursed loudly, quinckening his pace, fucking Alec’s mouth in earnest. Alec slacked his jaw a little, trying to accommodate the hard cock sliding in and out of his mouth, without gagging. He loved every second of it.

Magnus hips were snapping more frantically now, he was moaning with every thrust, his breath coming out is short bursts. “ _Fuck,_ Alexander. I’m going to come down that pretty throat of yours,” he panted.

Alec’s cock jerked, a muffled whimper stuck in his throat, pushed back by the next push of Magnus' cock. It took only a few more thrusts and then Magnus was coming, shooting his seed into Alec’s mouth as promised. Alec felt the hot spurts hitting the back of his throat, leaving a bitter tang on his tongue. He swallowed all of it, then he released Magnus' cock with a soft pop and proceeded to lick it clean. Magnus’ legs gave out and he slid gracefully on the floor, reaching blindly for Alec and dragging him into a messy kiss.

Alec’s cock was throbbing with the need to come and he absentmindedly reached between his legs. _Oh, how he was wrong_. Magnus’ whole demeanor changed from post-orgasmic bliss to a rigid countenance.

He grabbed Alec’s hand in a firm grip and when he spoke, his voice was sharp. “No touching. Have you forgotten your place?” he asked. “I’m in charge of your release, Alec. You will come at my command.” he brought a thumb on Alec’s cheekbone in a soft stroke. “I’m not done with you yet.”

Alec whimpered half in frustration, half in excitement. He was sure he couldn’t resist one more minute and the words coming out of Magnus' mouth didn’t help any. If anything, they made his cock throb more. “ _Please,_ ” he begged in a shaky voice.

Magnus looked at him searchingly. “Do you need to use your word?”

Alec blinked and thought about it. He was _dying_ to come but at the same time he couldn’t remember being so aroused before, ever. “No. I’m Green,” he rasped.

Magnus smiled. “Good. Just a little more, I promise.” he placed a kiss on Alec’s forehead. “Now, do you think you can behave for me? Or do I need to put a cock ring on you?”

The idea of being forcefully prevented to come left him breathless but he wanted to be good for Magnus, at least for their first scene. “I’ll behave,” he said roughly.

Magnus chuckled. “See that you do,” he said sternly. “Maybe next time, then.” he winked when Alec moaned. Then he straightened up. “Get up. Lie on the bed. On your back.”

Alec scrambled up, heading toward the bed on shaky legs. He hastily threw himself on the bed, eager for Magnus' touch. He watched as Magnus undressed himself with a wave of his hand and headed to the bed with controlled steps, the muscles of his legs flexing while he walked.

Magnus stopped just short of the bed and Alec could almost physically feel the weight of his assessing gaze. “What shall I do to you, Alexander?” he murmured.

“Anything. Just – anything you want,” he breathed. “ _Please_.”

Magnus smirked. “Look at you, already begging. I’m afraid you’ll have to do a lot more of that before I’ll be done with you.”

“ _Oh God_ , Magnus,” Alec moaned.

Magnus hummed and climbed on the bed. He stretched out his hand and caressed Alec’s side, slowly, making Alec shiver as his fingers stopped on his hip in a possessive gesture. Then Magnus placed himself between Alec’s spread legs, leaning over and placing a wet kiss on the hollow of Alec’s throat. Alec felt Magnus’ mouth trace a line of fire along his collarbone, then going lower, until it latched on his nipple and sucked. Alec arched his hips up but a strong hand placed on his upper torso kept him in position, while Magnus sucked and lavished his nipple with a talented tongue. With a last swirl of tongue, Magnus’ mouth left his swollen nipple and moved sideways to suck on the other one. He took the neglected nipple between his teeth and pulled, sending waves of pain and pleasure along Alec’s spine.

“Magnus, _please_.”

Magnus’s only answer was a sharp warning bite, followed by the soothing heat of his tongue. Alec tried to keep silent but he couldn’t keep in the loud moan as another wave of pain went through his body. Then Magnus’ mouth went lower, licking and sucking a path down Alec’s torso, until it stopped just above his erected cock. Alec was panting hard now, his whole body trembling in anticipation, the need to come almost unbearable. So _deliciously_ unbearable.

He moaned a curse when he felt the tip of a tongue lapping at the head of his cock, fingers grasping a fistful of sheets when it was enveloped in wet hotness. Magnus started to suck in earnest, and Alec would have arched up again if it wasn’t for the firm pressure of the hand on his hip, keeping him still. He could feel the orgasm building and he was half crazy with the need to release it, while relishing the sweet torture at the same time.

“Magnus, I – I’m _close,_ ” he managed to say between ragged breaths. Suddenly the warm heat was gone from his cock. Alec sobbed, bringing his hips up in a futile attempt to chase it.

Magnus tutted. “Not yet, Alexander. I’m not done.”

“Magnus, I can’t –“ he whimpered.

“Oh yes, you can. And you _will._ ” Alec groaned at that. “Save your begging for later. Right now, I want to hear only your pretty moans.”

Alec rewarded him with a loud moan but he couldn’t help one last, desperate plea. “Please Magnus, _Please_.”

“It seems that a reminder of who is in charge here is in order.” Magnus’ voice lost the teasing lilt and was hard again. “Get up.”

 _Damn that was hot_. Alec willed his trembling body in a sitting position and waited for further instructions.

“Turn over. On all fours,” he went on in that hot, commanding tone of voice.

Alec hastily turned over and assumed the position, head bent forward, aching cock jutting between his legs. Magnus placed himself behind Alec, just a little to the side, and bent over to place a kiss between Alec’s shoulder blades. “Good boy.” was whispered against his skin.

The praise went straight to Alec’s cock and it twitched, pre-come gathering on the tip. He breathed out a moan.

Magnus straightened up, placing a hand on the small of his back. “I hope this will serve to remind you of your place.” Was all he said before the other hand went crashing on Alec’s ass with a resounding slap. Alec threw his head back and gasped. There wasn’t much force in the blow, just enough to leave a sting behind, without hurting too much. Alec could feel his skin tingle in the most delicious way.

“ _Fuck,_ ” he breathed.

“Word?”

Alec opened his mouth to reply but all it came out of it was a throaty moan.

Alec gasped again when another slap landed on his ass, more forceful this time. “Alexander. _Word_?”

“Green. _Oh God_. Green,” he managed in a shaky voice.

At that Magnus resumed the spanking, delivering slow, methodical slaps, similar to the first one in forcefulness. They were not really meant to hurt. It was sensation more than pain. And by the Angel, sensation was all Alec could feel. He felt like he was drowning in sensation, the only focus was the tingling on his ass, spreading slowly to his entire body. It was _glorious_.

Magnus paused the spanking, rubbing soothing circles on Alec’s hot flesh. “Have you learned your lesson? Who is in charge here?”

Alec managed to find his voice between harsh breaths. “You are.”

“Good boy.” And like the first time, the praise made Alec’s cock jerk and he couldn't help a low, pleading sound from escaping his lips, hit all over again with the need to come.

Magnus shifted on the bed, placing himself directly behind Alec, renewed erection pressing against the curve of Alec’s ass. He leaned over and soothed the residual sting on Alec’s cheeks with his mouth. Then he sat on his heels and placed both of his hands on Alec’s inner thighs. “Spread your legs.”

Alec had never been happier to obey an order. He spread his legs wide, aching for Magnus' touch. Usually, he would feel a little embarrassed at being exposed like this but in that moment all he could feel was an  over-encompassing tide of desire crashing all over him.

Alec felt the crack of Magic in the air, then he heard the snap of a bottle popping open and suddenly there was a lubed finger teasing his entrance with small circles. He moaned when the finger breached past the ring of muscles, pushing back into the touch.

“Patience,” was all Magnus said before proceeding to drive Alec mad with only one digit, then adding a second one.

Alec’s desperate moans and his ragged breath were the only sounds on the room, while Magnus worked him open with two fingers at first, then adding a third. Magnus took his sweet time, making sure Alec was properly stretched, brushing his fingers over Alec’s prostate over and over.

Alec was out of his mind with lust, trashing and pushing back, moaning every other breath. “More. I need _more_.”

Magnus slowly withdrew his fingers, leaving Alec empty and desperate. “I wish you could look at yourself,” he murmured. “You look so beautiful like this. All stretched open and ready for me.”

“Magnus, _please_.”

“What do you want, Alexander?” his voice was husky now.

“You.” there was no question about that. “Please, Magnus. Fuck me.”

“Well, since you ask so nicely.” and then finally there was the tip of Magnus’ cock at his entrance, breaching him open torturously slow. Magnus paused as soon as he bottomed out and Alec could feel his muscles flexing to fight the urge to stay still, his labored breath.

Alec didn’t want _still_. “Move.”

Magnus' hand landed with another loud slap on his ass. “Bossy, aren’t we?” He panted.

But then Magnus’ hands gripped Alec’s hips in a firm hold and he started moving, at first with shallow thrusts, then setting a steady pace. “ _Oh God,_ Alexander. You are so hot,” he rasped.

“Harder, fuck me _harder,_ ” Alec begged.

One of Magnus’ hands left Alec’s hip and crashed down on his ass again but there was no reprimand this time. Magnus withdrew almost completely out of Alec’s body and then he _slammed_ forcefully back, drawing a sharp cry off Alec's lips. Alec felt a hand pressing down between his shoulder blades and he went pliantly down, chest on the bed, ass exposed further. Magnus gripped his hips again and started to pound into Alec in earnest. The new angle allowed his cock to slam on Alec’s prostate, making him scream with every thrust.

“Please Magnus. I can’t – I _need_ -“ Desperation tinged Alec’s voice now.

Alec felt one of Magnus’ hand release his hip. He groaned, expecting another stinging swat. When he felt Magnus' hand closing firmly on his cock instead, he choked on a moan.

Magnus bent over to whisper in his ear. “Come for me, Alexander.”

It took only a few strokes of Magnus’ hand and then Alec was coming with a scream, shooting his release in hot spurts all over Magnus’s hand and over the sheets. His legs gave out and he was vaguely aware of Magnus shouting his name in his own release as he crashed over Alec. Alec was sure he had blanked out because he couldn’t remember Magnus sliding out of him and placing himself on the bed, facing him, a strong arm resting on Alec’s side. Alec reached out blindly, grabbed Magnus and brought their mouths together in a messy kiss.

**

Later they were lying in bed, cuddled together. Alec couldn’t remember feeling so peaceful before. His head was resting on Magnus’s shoulder, his boyfriend’s hand a comforting weight on his shoulder. He lifted his head to look at the other man, and Magnus shifted a little so they were facing each other.

Magnus looked at him with a tentative smile. “How are you feeling, darling?”

Alec felt a laugh bubble up in his chest. “Are you _kidding_ me?”

Magnus' smile faltered a little. “I was thinking that it was our first scene and maybe, maybe I came out a little strong on you,” he babbled. “Was it too much? I’m -“

Alec put a hand over Magnus’s mouth to put an end to the silly sentence. “Magnus.” he made eye contact with him. “Don’t you _dare_ apologize for the best sex of my life.” Magnus’ soft laugh warmed Alec’s chest and he went on. “It was perfect. You were perfect.”

“Best sex, you say?” Magnus teased. “Oh, darling, you have no idea. There is _so much_ I have to show you yet.”

Alec’s breath hitched. “I can’t wait.”

Magnus’ bright smile was the last thing he saw before sleep claimed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Should I run and hide? :P


	6. Recklessness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some rule-breaking and a little chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was happy to see that many of you decided to follow me in hell yesterday, thank you so much! :)  
> So, after the carrot comes the stick. I'm afraid this chapter is just me setting Alec up for punishment.  
> In my defense, Stern Disciplinarian Magnus makes my knees go weak.  
> I'm sorry (not really).

For the second time in a week, Alec woke up to an empty bed. He could feel sounds coming from the kitchen though, so he smiled, stretching on the bed and groaning at the soreness of his muscles. They ached because of the strain of keeping still, from all the trembling and flexing of the night before. Alec smiled wider at the reminder. He slowly pushed himself off the bed and headed toward the adjoined bathroom.

He came out after a while, feeling refreshed and ready to start the day. Like a few days before, a wide selection of food was spread on the table but this time Alec could recognize some of the dishes from one of their favorite diner.

Magnus turned to look at him with a blinding smile. “I hope you don’t mind I’ve summoned our breakfast,” he said. “Last night you wore me out,” he finished with an overdramatic flourish.

Alec snorted out a laugh. “I could say the same,” he retorted. “This is great, Magnus. Thank you.”

Magnus winked. “Well, I aim to please.” 

They were halfway through their breakfast and Alec was listening absentmindedly to Magnus talking about his appointments for the day, but his mind kept wandering to the night before. He wasn’t joking, it had been the _best_ sex of his life. He had enjoyed every second, from the commanding presence of his boyfriend, to the sweet torture of his delayed orgasm, to the incredibly hot way Magnus had spanked his upturned ass before giving him a mind-blowing release. He frowned.

“Magnus,” he interrupted.

Magnus stopped mid-sentence and looked at him. “What is it, darling?”

“I- I was thinking about last night,” he said. “I loved it,” he clarified before Magnus could worry about Alec changing his mind. “I loved all of it. Even the – you know. The spanking.” God,  would he ever stop blushing?

Magnus chuckled. “Well, I’d hope so. That was the purpose.”

Alec was frowning again. “I _really_ enjoyed it though,” he said. “So I was thinking, what about…” he swallowed. “You know. If I break one of your rules…” he trailed off, unable to go on.

Magnus seemed to have caught up in his line of thinking though, because he chuckled again. “You are thinking about the effectiveness of it used as a mean of discipline, because you enjoyed it last night. Am I right?” At Alec’s nod, he kept talking. “Alexander, last night you were meant to enjoy yourself. The spanking was erotic in nature.” when Alec tried to reply, he hushed him with a wave of his hand. “Let me ask you something. Did it really hurt?”

Alec didn’t have to think about it. “No. Not much.”

Magnus smiled. “Exactly. It might have left a little sting but it wasn’t meant to hurt you. Quite the opposite.” he winked. “Besides, you were in an aroused frame of mind. I could have hit you harder and you still would have enjoyed it. You will be in a totally different place should the need for discipline arise.”

Alec thought that over. “It makes sense.”

“Of course it does,” Magnus said, reaching out and stroking his cheek. “Believe me, darling. You would definitely _feel_ the difference.”

Alec snorted. “Well, then I hope I won’t find out.”

Even while he said it, he knew that sooner or later he would screw things up. He just didn’t expect how soon it would be.

**

A few days later, as soon as Alec woke up, he knew there was something wrong with him. His head felt fuzzy, like someone had forcefully stuffed it with wool. He turned on the bed and was immediately wrapped in Magnus’ embrace, then he felt a soft kiss on the top of his head.

“Good morning, Alexander.”

“Morning,” he rasped out, the single word grating on his throat.

 _Great_. Today he was supposed to go on a mission. They had worked hard for days to get some intel about the nest of rogue vampires who had been feeding on humans and creating dozens of subjugates in the last few months. It went against ever Clave regulation and it was a huge breach of the accords. The vampires had lead them in circles for months and, finally, the day before they had been able to get their break up. It was a big deal and Alec had wanted to lead the mission himself. He couldn’t afford to get sick. _Not now_.

He groaned loudly.

Magnus disentangled himself from the sheets and looked at him. “Everything okay, darling?” 

Alec covered his hesitation with a loud yawn, hand covering his mouth. He wanted to be honest with Magnus. He was not okay, after all. But then Magnus would worry and fuss and maybe he would ask Alec to send someone else on the mission.

“Yeah, a bit sleepy. I’ll be okay,” he managed to say in what he hoped would pass as a straight voice.

Magnus looked a little worried but then he smiled at Alec warmly. “Well then. I think coffee is in order.” he kissed Alec softly, then got off the bed with a graceful motion and headed out of the room.

Alec could feel a little tinge of guilt twisting his gut but he hadn’t _exactly_ lied, had he? It was nothing an Iratze couldn’t take care of, he said to himself. He _would_ be okay.

**

It turned out, he wasn’t okay. The Iratze had managed to take the edge off but he still felt like someone had brought a hammer down on his head. Repeatedly. He had considered sending someone else in his place but Izzy was already staying behind to perform a last minute emergency forensic examination and they had to replace her with Raj. That left him and Jace and someone needed to watch his parabatai’s back. Alec couldn’t be faulted if he didn’t trust Raj to do that. Besides, he didn’t want to miss out on the action after all the hard work to find the nest.

So there he was, squatted behind a dumpster and keeping an eye on the front door of the supposed barber’s shop, waiting for Jace’s signal to storm the place. Raj was placed on the other end of the building, with the order to block the only other escape route. Alec’s mind wandered to Magnus and for a moment he felt a twinge of panic twist his gut. _Magnus would be so pissed_. Then he dismissed the thought, telling to himself he had no reason to worry. They would lead a successful mission and then he would have a chance to rest.

He was brought out of his musings by Jace’s signal and together they headed toward the shop, weapons on the ready. As soon as they walked through the door, he knew they were right. This was no ordinary barber’s shop. It was dimly lit, dust covered every surface and the sickening smell was enough to send a small wave of nausea through his body. Jace touched his arm and when he had Alec’s attention, he pointed toward the door at the other end of the room. Alec took a deep breath to steady himself and nodded, leading the way.

The room was dark,  the smell intensifying with every step he took. As another wave of nausea hit him, Alec started to think that maybe it hadn’t been such a smart idea coming on the mission, after all. But now he was there and he needed to focus. He couldn’t afford to screw up on this.

Then all hell broke loose.

They were surrounded, fighting back to back, circling and swinging at the vampires with their seraph blades. Alec thought that they weren’t doing that bad, considering. They were outnumbered but they were holding their own. Vampires crumbled to dust with every swing of their blades.

Soon, there were only four vampires left. At some point Alec was separated from his parabatai and now they were fighting in opposite corners of the room, two vampires each. He saw movement out of the corner of his eyes and soon Raj joined the fight, killing one of the vampires fighting Alec and then running to help Jace.

Just when Alec had the vampire cornered and was about to finish it, he was hit by a sudden burst of dizziness. He crashed on his knees, a curse slipping off his lips. The vampire was quick as lightning. He grabbed Alec roughly and threw him through the room with inhuman force. Alec heard Jace shouting his name before he landed hard on the floor, feeling the crack of a broken bone. The searing pain on his arm took a while to register and he was gasping through the pain when he heard Jace calling for help. He had the presence of mind to look around and notice that none of the vampires were standing.

They had made it.

**

Alec was in the Institute infirmary, Izzy fussing over him, while Jace drew the last Iratze on his forearm. He was almost healed now, the pain from the broken arm gone but the fuzziness in his head lingering. Izzy passed him a glass of water and he gulped it down gratefully, feeling the fresh liquid soothe his burning throat.

“Thank you,” he croaked.

“You are welcome, brother.” she smiled. “I should head back to the lab. I need to finish the examination.” she started to leave but the she turned back as if hit by a thought. “Oh, I called Magnus.”

“What?” He groaned. “Why?”

“I called him as soon as Jace sent the S.O.S. I had no idea how bad it was, and after the last time, you can’t blame me for worrying.” she scoffed but her eyes softened. “Don’t worry, I called him back to tell him that you’d survive,” she said dryly. “But I think he’s on his way here.” with that she turned around and left the room, headed to finish her work.

 _Great_ , Alec thought. He had some explaining to do and he wasn’t looking forward to it. Not right then. Hewas cleared to leave the infirmary so he got off the bed, starting to collect his things, his mind already to the report he had to fill in.

When he turned to leave, Jace was staring at him with a speculative look. It was clear that something was on his mind. The silence stretched for a few uncomfortable minutes, until Jace broke it.

“What the hell was that, buddy?”

“What?” Alec blurted.

“You know what I’m talking about, Alec. You went down. That vamp was anywhere near you when you crashed on the floor.” he sounded bewildered.

“It was nothing. Okay?” he bit out. Then he sighed. “Look. It was my fault. I wasn’t feeling good. I woke up sick and went on the mission anyway.” as soon as the last word left his mouth, he heard a sharp intake of breath and he hastily turned around, choking a gasp.

Magnus was standing on the infirmary doorstep and from the look on his face, Alec guessed he had heard enough. His mouth was pressed in a firm line, hard eyes staring at Alec with simmering anger. There were worry and affection in there as well but Alec could only focus on the tightening of his jaw, the way Magnus' eyes flashed yellow before turning back to dark brown.

Magnus took a deep breath, schooling his face in a neutral expression. “Alexander. I need a word in private. Your office?” his voice was clipped.

“S-Sure,” Alec stammered. Then turned to look at Jace. “I’m sorry, Jace. I wanted to watch your back but I could have gotten you killed. I’m really sorry.”

Jace shook his head and then grabbed Alec in a brief hug. “It’s okay. Just don’t do it again, got it? It was dumb.”

“I won’t,” Alec promised, squeezing Jace’s arm and turning toward the door. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

Magnus nodded to Jace, moved out of the way and let Alec lead the way to his office. They walked in silence, Alec stealing glances every few steps. At last they reached the office and after they got in, Alec closed the door with a soft click, turning to face his boyfriend.

“Magnus, I-“ he started.

“Don’t,” Magnus interrupted. He walked to Alec, eyes assessing him as if to make sure he was still in one piece. When he seemed satisfied with what he was seeing, he crushed Alec in a fierce hug, breathing hard into his neck. He released him immediately after. “Where does it hurt?”

“I’m fine, Magnus.” he knew that was the wrong thing to say when he saw Magnus’ face darken again.

“Do _not_ lie to me,” he snapped. “Not again.”

Alec had the decency to look down. “My head. It feels fuzzy,” he whispered. “And my throat. I tried to use an Iratze but it didn’t help much.”

Magnus voice had a silky quality to it when he spoke. “Pray tell me, why did you lie to me this morning when I asked you how you were feeling?” he raised a hand to prevent Alec from speaking. “Wait, let me answer that,” he drawled. “You thought I would worry and ask you not to go on the mission.”

Alec could feel shame flooding him in waves. “Yes,” he whispered.

“And tell me, did it occur to you that I could heal you with a snap of my fingers?” and he proceeded to do just that. Alec suddenly felt a wave of magic going through him, and after it was gone he could feel the difference. His head was clear and his throat didn’t feel like he had swallowed broken glass anymore. He was feeling even more stupid, cursing himself for not thinking about that possibility sooner.

“Thank you,” he whispered again. “Magnus, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” Magnus repeated. “You didn’t think. And you risked your life. _Again._ ” he raised his voice on the last word, eyes flashing yellow again. He turned abruptly around and Alec heard a light bulb exploding. He braced himself for the shower of shards that was bound to crash over him but it never came. Magnus was facing him once more, hand raised, blue light cracking over his palm and Alec realized he was shielding him. At a snap of his Magnus' finger, the bulb was whole again.

Magnus took a deep breath, then he straightened himself. “I should be going. I left my client in the middle of a consult,” he said quietly. “We will talk about this tonight.”

Alec felt very small. And very stupid. “Magnus, wait. I-“

“Save it, Alexander. I can’t talk about this now,” he interrupted. “Consider yourself lucky I don’t deal out discipline in anger.” his voice was as icy as his eyes. “Otherwise you would already be bent over that desk.”

Alec gasped. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Do _not_ try me.”

“Sorry, Sir.” the title slipped out of his lips without thought. It somewhat felt right to Alec, considering the circumstance.

Magnus acknowledged it with a curt nod. “I should really get back to my client.”

Alec could feel tears pricking at his eyes. He was truly sorry and now he felt incredibly guilty for lying to his boyfriend and knowing that Magnus was upset because of him. What had he been thinking? “Okay.” barely a whisper.

Magnus seemed to sense his dejection. His eyes softened a fraction and he walked closer, placing a hand on Alec’s shoulder and a brief kiss on his mouth. It was just a brush of lips but Alec was grateful for the reassurance.

“Alexander. Look at me.” Alec obeyed at once, locking his gaze with the Magnus'. “Yes, I am angry. But I am not punishing you by leaving. I just need to calm down. I love you.”

Alec released a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. “I know. I love you too.”

Magnus squeezed his shoulder before releasing him. “I’ll wait for you at home,” he murmured. “I expect you there as soon as you finish working. Don’t be late,” he warned. Then he turned around and left, leaving Alec alone with his thoughts.

_He was so screwed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what's Magnus going to do? *Squeals and hides*


	7. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec pays the price for his recklessness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments, as usual. They really mean a lot to me. :)  
> I'm updating a little earlier because I'm going out soon and I don't know when I'll be back home.  
> I must confess I'm a little nervous about this chapter.  
> My Magnus might be a big softie but he wouldn't tolerate recklessness and he's going to make his displeasure very clear. If you are not comfortable with disciplinary spanking, I'd advise you to skip this chapter. I can tell you that Alec will be well cared for and there will be some fluff and humor in the end.  
> For those of you that don't like the idea of Magnus disciplining Alec, I can say that I don't plan to make this a regular occurrence (there will be only one more punishment in future chapters), so bear with me.

By the time Alec signed the last of the paperwork, his nerves were all over the place. It had been hours since Magnus had left the Institute and anxiety had kept churning and twisting in Alec's gut ever since Magnus had walked out of the door. Alec was dreading the upcoming confrontation. This was new ground and he didn’t know what to expect. _Well, that is not true_ , he thought wryly. He knew exactly what was coming but he had no idea about the dynamic of it. That wasn’t to say he was afraid of his boyfriend. He trusted Magnus with his whole being and he knew that Magnus would never abuse his power over Alec.

That didn’t mean he was really looking forward to being disciplined. Alec had some self-preservation left, thank you very much. On the other hand, he knew he needed whatever Magnus decided to deal out. The guilt was threatening to choke him and he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. Anticipation and guilt were killing him.

With a last look around the office to make sure everything was in order, he got off the chair and sighed. It was time to go home.

**

Alec had been standing in front of the door of the loft for a few minutes, trying to work out the courage to enter and face Magnus. He could do this. He was a grown-ass man, no matter if at the moment he was feeling more like an errant child.

_You asked for it Lightwood. You earned it._

He took a last deep breath and opened the door.

Magnus was sitting on the couch, stroking absentmindedly Chairman Meow’s head. The cat was contentedly perching on the armrest, purring softly at his touch. Alec smiled softly, almost afraid to intrude and ruin the moment. But he couldn’t procrastinate anymore.

“Hey,” he said.

Magnus’ hand stilled for a second, then resumed stroking the feline, eyes shifting up to look at Alec. “Hey,” he parroted. His face seemed devoid of the previous anger but it was still set in hard lines. “How are you feeling, Alexander?” he asked softly. “Any lingering pain?”

Warmth spread in Alec’s chest. Magnus’ first thought had been about his health, as always. “I’m good Magnus, nothing hurts. Thank you.” he smiled.

The corners of Magnus’ mouth lifted up in a small answering smile. Then he seemed to steel himself and he was all business. “Wait for me in the guest room. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

Alec blinked. “The guest room?”

“You heard me, Alexander. Now _go._ ” there wasn’t room for argument in his voice.

“Yes, Sir.” and again, the title slipped out of his mouth unbidden.

Alec headed to the guestroom with a fluttering heart. As soon as he walked in the room, he understood why Magnus had sent him there. The room was unfamiliar. They never had sex in there and that made it neutral ground. Alec didn’t know what to do with himself so he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, waiting for Magnus.

He didn’t have to wait much. Magnus was true to his word and soon he joined Alec in the room. Alec could feel butterflies in his stomach as Magnus approached him, without a word, face unreadable.

He bowed his head in shame and then he broke the silence. “Where do you want me, Sir?”

Magnus walked past him and sat down on the bed, gesturing to the spot beside him. “Sit.”

As soon as Alec was seated on the bed, Magnus took one of his hands in both of his own and looked at Alec with sadness in his eyes. “Why did you lie to me?” he whispered. “Don’t you trust me?”

Alec felt miserable. “What? I do,” he said. “Magnus, I trust you with my life.”

“Then why?” Magnus asked, reaching out and taking Alec's hand in both of his own. “Do you really think I am so overbearing to forbid you to do your job?”

“No. I- It’s not that.”

“Then what is it? Please help me understand, Alexander.” Frustration laced Magnus' voice.

Alec blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. “I had worked so hard for the mission, Magnus. I couldn’t miss it.”

Magnus let out a bitter laugh. “And you thought I would ask you not to go.” It wasn’t a question. “Did you even stop to think that I could have healed you? That I could have helped you on the mission if I wasn’t able to heal you?”

Alec’s eyes widened as Magnus’ words sank. “I- I didn’t think of that,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s correct. You didn’t think. And because of that you lied to me and you put yourself in danger.”

Now that Alec thought about it, it was a very stupid thing to do. He had lied to Magnus and he had gone on a mission knowing he wasn’t at his top. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. And he was truly sorry.

“I believe you are. But that doesn’t leave you off the hook.” Gentleness warred with authority in Magnus’s voice. “When you asked me for this, we agreed on some rules. You accepted that your actions would have consequences,” he went on. “Now, you leave me with no choice. Do you understand why I have to punish you?”

Alec blushed, then he straightened his spine. “I do.” he managed to say. “I’m ready.”

Magnus looked at him in the eye, then exhaled loudly, releasing his hand with a last squeeze. “Very well. Stand.”

Alec scrambled to his feet. “Yes, Sir.”

“Strip. From the waist down.”

Alec thought that Magnus had no right to sound so collected, when his own heart was hammering so wildly in his ribcage. He hurried to obey the order and made short work of his shoes, then his pants. He hesitated with his fingers at the waistband of his boxers, then lowered them down to his ankles and stepped out of them. He could feel Magnus’ gaze on him and he had never felt so exposed, not even when they were having sex. He waited for further instruction.

Magnus seemed to think about something, then he snapped his fingers and a wicked-looking leather paddle materialized in his hand out of thin air. If the curt nod was any indication, he seemed satisfied with it. As Magnus placed it on the nightstand, Alec couldn’t help the gasp that burst out of his throat, butterflies fluttering madly in his stomach while he held his breath in anticipation.

“Breathe.” Magnus' voice was a little gentler, encouraging. “Don’t worry. We’ll work our way up to that.”

Alec wasn’t sure if that sounded like the reassurance it was meant to be. “Okay,” he breathed out.

“Over my lap, Alexander,” Magnus ordered.

Alec took a deep breath and walked toward his boyfriend. His last thought before lowering himself over Magnus' lap was that Magnus was right. His emotions were all over the place and sex was _the last thing_ on his mind. He settled over Magnus’ lap, shifting a little to adjust his position.

Magnus placed a hand over the small of his back. “I’ll take on account that this is the first time,” he said in a quiet voice. “And for that I’ll show you some leniency. Rest assured, this will not be pleasant by any means."

Alec swallowed. “I understand.”

The position was more comfortable than Alec would have thought. His chest was braced on the soft bed, legs spread out on the other side. He grabbed the soft pillow and buried his face there. The warmth of Magnus’ hand on his lower back was helping to soothe his nerves.

Magnus apparently had finished talking, because next thing Alec knew, his free hand crashed on his ass in a stinging swat. Alec’s head jerked up, his mouth open on a silent gasp. _Fuck, that hurt_. The next slap landed on the other cheek with the same force. After that Magnus set a steady pace of unforgiving swats allover his ass. It hurt but it wasn’t unbearable, Alec thought. He could go through it without making a fool of himself.

After a while, Alec had to rethink his previous assessment. The heat on his ass seemed to build with every stinging slap and soon Alec found himself squirming with every blow, hands gripping tightly the sheets. Magnus was _definitely_ right. He could _feel_ the difference. This spanking was not meant to arouse. It was meant to punish, plain and simple. His ass was on fire and Magnus didn’t seem likely to stop anytime soon. There was no way he was going to take the punishment without making a fool of himself, he thought. He winced as the next blow hit an already sore spot. Did they do this to _children_? Alec thought wildly, then he sent a silent prayer to the Angel, thanking him that his parents hadn’t been partial to corporal punishment.

But then he was hit by a thought. The whole ordeal was really unpleasant. Painful for sure and something Alec vowed to himself to avoid in the future. Yet, somehow, finding himself in this position made him feel absurdly safe, cared for. It felt right on some deep level. He could already feel some of the guilt slipping away.

When Alec thought he couldn’t _possibly_ bear another blow without making a sound, Magnus stopped, placing a hand on his hot bottom. Alec exhaled a breath on the pillow when he felt the hand caressing his ass.

He tried to lift himself up but Magnus’ didn’t release the pressure on the small of his back. “Keep your position, Alexander,” he ordered. “We are not done yet.”

Alec’s eyes went impossibly wide. “What? We’re not?” he babbled.

The hand rubbing his ass disappeared, Magnus shifted a little, and then Alec could feel something cool being placed gently on his backside. “I told you we would work our way up to this,” Magnus chided.

 _Oh Fuck_. Alec froze. He had totally forgotten about _that_. “Do we have to?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“But, Magnus,” he tried.

“No buts, Alexander,” Magnus said sternly. “You need to understand that placing your life in danger is _not acceptable_.”

At the reminder of his own foolish actions and hearing the pained note in Magnus' voice, Alec felt the guilt surge up again in his gut and he sighed in acquiescence. “Okay.”

A clipped “Brace yourself.” was the only warning he got before Magnus raised his arm and the paddle came down on his ass with a resounding _crack_.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Alec hissed, his whole body jerking at the pain blooming on his backside. Another blow followed the first. “ _God_ , Magnus.” his voice broke on Magnus' name.

The hand on his lower back trembled, then steadied itself again. By blow number ten, Alec was crying quietly with his face buried on the pillow, hands gripping the sheets in a white-knuckled hold, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, mixed with the sweat rolling down his forehead.

Magnus paused the spanking. “Why am I punishing you, Alexander?”

Alec wasn’t sure his voice was going to work. “Because-“ He panted. “Because I broke the rules.”

 _Crack_. “Elaborate.”

“I – _ah_ \- I lied to you,” he croaked.

 _Crack_. “What else?”

“Oh _fuck_.”

“Alexander. What else?”

There was not an accompanying blow this time and Alec breathed through the pain, grateful for the chance to find his voice. “I put myself in danger.”

“That’s correct.” _Crack_.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Are you going to lie to me again?” _Crack_.

“ No.” a pant. “No.”

“Good. Are you going to put yourself in danger again?” _Crack_.

“God, no. _Never again,_ ” he swore.

“Then we are almost done here.” The words were accompanied by a soothing caress on Alec’s lower back. “I hope this will be a reminder the next time you’ll feel the need to risk your life again. I won’t hesitate to repeat this lesson.”

Alec’s eyes went wide once more. “No.” he shook his head. “No, no.”

Magnus resumed the soothing circles on his back. “Just five more,” he murmured, voice soft. “It will be over soon, I promise.”

Alec was sure he couldn’t take one more, let alone five. He muffled a sob on the pillow and nodded his head in resignation.

It _was_ over soon. Magnus delivered the next five blows quickly and by the time he was done, Alec was sobbing quietly. He thought the crying had more to do with the guilt than the pain due to his very high pain tolerance but his ass was throbbing, so he couldn’t be sure about that.

Then Magnus threw the paddle on the floor. “It’s over,” he whispered, both of his hands rubbing circles on Alec’s back. “It’s okay. You did so good,” he went on in a soothing voice. “You are forgiven.”

Alec sobbed harder at that. He had no idea how much he was craving forgiveness, until Magnus had given him just that. He buried his face on the pillow but Magnus was having none of it. He grabbed Alec by the shoulders and turned him around, pulling him in a fierce hug. “You are forgiven, darling,” he repeated.

Alec hugged him back, sobs muffled in the soft skin of Magnus' neck. “I’m sorry, Magnus,” he managed to say.

“I know, love. Let it all out.”

And Alec did. He cried on his boyfriend’s shoulder, vaguely aware of whispered nonsense and soft kisses on the top of his head.

After a while, when he managed to get his breath under control, he realized that Magnus was still whispering soft reassurances.

“Magnus,” he croaked out, voice thick with tears. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Magnus smoothed away the damp hair off his forehead and kissed it softly. “I know. But darling, try not to put yourself in this position again.”

Alec snorted. Like hell he would. He was going to be the _most responsible_ Shadowhunter of the whole Institute. “I won’t.”

“Good. See that you don’t. _Please_.”

Alec could feel Magnus’ voice break on the last word and his head snapped up. He was shocked to see tears in his eyes. “Magnus, don’t.” he raised a hand and brushed his thumb under Magnus’ eye, wiping away the tears.

Magnus grabbed his hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing his palm softly. “I really dislike to cause you pain. I think I was as affected as you were.”

“My ass begs to differ,” he said with a snort. “So, I guess what they say is true, uh?”

Magnus frowned. “What?”

“You know, the ‘ _It hurts me more than it hurts you’_ saying,” he joked.

At that, Magnus let out a wet laugh. “You are incorrigible.” then he snapped his fingers and a glass of water appeared in his hand. “Drink this.”

Alec grabbed the glass and drank greedily, realizing how thirsty he had been. When he finished, he held the glass out. “More, please.” Magnus obliged and Alec downed the second glass as well. “Thank you,” he said, giving the empty glass back to Magnus, who banished it.

Magnus just smiled, then he shifted them around until they were laying on the bed, still locked in a firm embrace. He started to card his fingers through Alec’s hair. “Hush now. Get some rest,” he whispered.

Alec wasn’t about to complain. He could feel the stress of the whole day crashing down on his body, so he curled up in Magnus’ side and did just that.

**

Alec woke up a few hours later, still wrapped in a warm embrace, Magnus's fingers still carding through his hair. Alec  shifted and sighed contentedly.

Magnus stilled. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good.” and he was. “Magnus, you didn’t have to stay here the whole time.”

Magnus scoffed. “Where else would I be, darling?” As Alec’s heart swelled with love, Magnus went on. “Really, how are you feeling?”

“I’m really good, Magnus,” he said, meaning it. The spinning whirlwind on his head had quieted down. He had let go of all the stress he had no idea he was experiencing in the first place. Days, months, _years_ of stress. He was about to say just that when his stomach grumbled loudly. “Starving though,” he added instead.

Magnus chuckled. “Go take a shower. I’ll fix dinner.”

Twenty minutes later, Alec was joining his boyfriend at the table, clad in fresh sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. As soon as Magnus saw him, he beamed and gestured to the table. There was a large selection of food from their favorite Chinese restaurant and Alec’s stomach grumbled again. He smiled back at Magnus and sat down with a hiss.

Magnus chuckled. “I’m not healing that.” 

Alec snorted out a laugh and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I didn’t think you would.” then he sobered. “Magnus, I’m really sorry. I promise I will be more careful.”

“I would hope so,” Magnus huffed, starting to fill his plate. “Next time I won’t be so lenient.”

Alec felt a hysterical giggle bubbling up in his chest. “Really, Magnus? You call that _lenient_?” he protested. “That _thing_ was evil.”

Magnus arched an eyebrow. “My dear Alexander. That _thing_ , as you say, could have been made out of hard, unyielding wood.”

Alec paled. “Right,” he said. “Let’s eat.”

As Magnus’s bright laugh filled the room, Alec was hit by a thought.

_I’m going to punch the next person who’ll say that Magnus is a soft boyfriend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Was Magnus too hard?


	8. Learning the ropes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family bonding and sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wonderful comments. :)  
> Sorry for the delay. I spent the last hour tweaking and fixing this chapter. I'm still not happy with it but I suspect there isn't much I can do about it, without having to delay it further.  
> It picks up the day after. 
> 
> Warnings and additional tags: Explicit sex, rimming, sex toys, bondage.

Alec was in his office, dealing with the daily paperwork, trying not to squirm too much on the chair. The pain was mostly gone but he could still feel a little discomfort when he sat down.

The previous day they had gone to bed soon after dinner, foregoing sex to stay cuddled together in bed. It had been nice. What had been nicer was the way Magnus had woken him up that morning.

Alec had been brought to consciousness by a hot mouth wrapped around his cock. They had spent the following thirty minutes making up for the lack of sex of the night before. Alec had had to grab a quick breakfast on his way over to the Institute but he wasn't going to complain about it.

He shifted again on his chair, grabbing the next paper. He was surprised to realize that he felt good. In the past, after screwing things up, he would have felt the guilt eating at him for days on end, until he decided to go on an unaware self-harm spree. Now he felt calm, the guilt from the previous day gone. He felt like he had atoned for his sins and he was able to move over. His mind was quiet in a way it hadn’t been in years.

He finished with his last paper for the morning and he was about to check his schedule for the afternoon, when Izzy strolled in the room.

She didn’t knock but she was holding a coffee cup for Alec so he smiled. “Thank you.”

She regarded him shrewdly and he tried not to squirm too much. She smirked. “So you’re the sub, uh?”

He choked on his coffee. “ _What_?” He spluttered, shook by a coughing fit.

“Well. Jace told me about Magnus’ visit and judging by the way you are squirming in your seat, I think I’m right.” She had the nerve to wink.

Alec spluttered again. “What?” he spat. “Wait, Jace told you…”

“Relax, he’s clueless,” she said in a teasing voice. “I’m right though, yes?”

“Izzy.” Alec groaned. “Can we not discuss my sex life? _Again_.”

“Oh, big brother. You should look at your face,” she guffawed. “It’s priceless.”

He buried his face in his hands with another groan. “How did you…?”

“Jace told me Magnus looked angry. And that he asked to talk to you in private.” her voice was amused. “And I _might_ have stumbled upon your search history,” she added with a knowing smile. “I just wasn’t sure what role you wanted.”

“That’s _spying,_ ” Alec hissed. “You little – Wait, aren’t you upset about this?” he gestured vaguely toward himself.

She looked at him seriously. “Did he hurt you?”

Alec thought that _yes_ , his ass could attest that Magnus had hurt him, but not in the way his sister was talking about. He made sure to look at her straight in the eye. “No,” he said. “I’m good. I’m more than good.”

Her eyes softened. “Then, no. I’m not upset.” she paused. “Alec, Jace also told me that you went on the mission while you were sick. If Magnus can keep you from doing stupid things like that, I’ll send him the most expensive bottle of whisky I can find.”

Alec choked again. “Was there something you wanted, Izzy? Other than to pry on my personal life?”

She smiled sweetly. “No. Nothing.” she turned to leave. Then she stopped. “Oh, I’ll ask Jace to cover your training session with the new Shadowhunters from Idris. Don’t worry. I won’t tell him _why_.”

Alec could hear her laughter echo in the Institute hallway after she was long gone.

 _Great,_ he thought. He had faced many demons, he had sustained grave injuries, he had survived all of them, and yet, embarrassment was going to be the death of him.

**

When Alec got back to the loft, Magnus wasn’t home yet. He had warned Alec that he had a full schedule for the day so Alec wasn’t worried. Chairman Meow was lazily sprawled on the couch. The small cat just lifted his head up to look at Alec, apparently discarding him as a threat and getting back to sleep. Alec smiled, thinking that the way the cat stretched and curled on himself reminded him of his boyfriend. He decided that he could as well take a shower while waiting for Magnus, so he headed toward the bathroom, still smiling.

He had just finished to get dressed in his comfiest sweatpants when his phone pinged with a new text. He flipped it open and smiled again. _On my way back, darling_. Alec sent a quick text back, placed a call to order dinner from Magnus’ favorite Ethiopian restaurant, then he settled on the couch to wait for his boyfriend, stroking absentmindedly the still sleeping cat.

Less than five minutes later, a swirling portal started to form in the middle of the room and soon Magnus was standing there, huge smile on his face and a small parcel tucked under his arm. He made his way to Alec, just as he was standing from the couch,  meeting him halfway for a heated kiss.

The kiss was cut short by the doorbell ringing. Alec pulled reluctanctly back, a loud curse on his lips. “I ordered delivery food.”

“Wonderful, Alexander. I’m starving.” Magnus flashed him a bright smile before walking to the front door.

Alec took a few seconds to compose himself, mind still hazy, heat pooled in his belly just from a single kiss. When he was back in control of himself, he started to set the table, while Magnus retrieved their food. Soon they were seated at the table, eating and chattering, until Alec remembered what he had intended to tell to Magnus. 

He groaned, putting his fork down. “Magnus.”

Magnus stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Yes, darling?”

“Izzy _knows,_ ” he said, the words slipping past his lips suspiciously like a whine.

“Knows what?” Magnus asked, letting out a little gasp, eyes widening in understanding. He cleared his throat and looked at Alec, eyebrow cocked up. “And how did dear Isabelle come upon this piece of information?”

“That little weasel spied on me,” Alec replied, some of the outrage he was feeling showing in his voice. “She looked at my search history.”

Magnus huffed out a quiet laugh. “Well, I must hand it out to her. When she sets her minds on something she is nothing short of formidable.” He paused, mouth curving into a grimace. “I suppose I am to expect a visit from a very angry younger sister, am I right?”

Alec blushed. “Uh. Actually…” he stammered. “She said, and I quote, ‘ _If Magnus can keep you from doing stupid things like that, I’ll send him the most expensive bottle of whisky I can find._ ’ Can you believe that?”

At that Magnus threw his head back and laughed brightly. He clutched at his side, bending over, still laughing hard.

“Magnus, stop that. It’s not funny,” Alec said, only to have Magnus explode in a new fit of giggles. “Okay. Maybe it is. A little,” he relented, the corners of his own mouth lifting up.

Magnus’ laughter was contagious and Alec found himself giggling along his boyfriend, unable to control himself. Soon they were both laughing, clutching their sides as tears of mirth spilled from their eyes. It took them a few minutes to catch their breath and calm down enough to resume their dinner, interrupted by the occasional burst of giggles.

They spent a little time on the couch after dinner, snuggling and watching the tv, enjoying the quiet and each other's company.  As the credits started to play, Magnus leaned over to place a light bite on the shell of Alec’s ear, sending a jolt of arousal down his spine along with a shiver of anticipation.

“I have a little surprise for you tonight. Care to move to the bedroom?” he whispered against Alec's skin.

Alec could never say no to _that_.

On their way to the bedroom, Magnus stopped to pick up the package he had brought home. Alec looked at him with a quizzical expression but all he got in response was a wink and an amused, “You’ll find out soon.”

Just like the previous time, as soon as they stepped through the bedroom door, Alec could see Magnus’ countenance shift. Alec was mesmerized by the transformation taking place before his eyes. How Magnus could turn from loving boyfriend to commanding Dom in a heartbeat never ceased to amaze him. 

Magnus looked at him, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Strip and kneel by the bed, facing it,” he ordered in a firm voice.

Alec’s breath hitched in his throat. Just like the previous scene, his blood started to sing in his veins, hot streaks of arousal cursing through his body.  He hurried to obey and soon he was naked, knees on the hard floor, facing the bed, hard cock throbbing between his legs. He heard Magnus' approaching steps, felt a long finger stroking his back, making him shiver. Then Alec felt a wave of magic crash over his body and the lingering tenderness on his ass vanished.

“What happened to ‘ _I won’t heal that_ ’, uh?” he mused.

Magnus's hand brushed over his ass in a slow, possessive caress. “Hush. Maybe I want to paint it red all over again,” he purred. He let out a low chuckle as Alec threw his head back with a loud moan. “It was mostly healed anyway.”  He patted Alec's ass and he placed the package on the bed, gesturing toward it. “Open it.”

Alec unwrapped the parcel with trembling fingers, letting out a chocked gasp as its content was revealed. He stared at the dildo and at the silk bonds, anticipation sending sparks of fire through his body.

Magnus knelt behind him. “Bend over.” 

Alec bent forward, chest flat on the bed, ass exposed at Magnus' mercy. Magnus shifted back and leaned over to place a wet kiss on Alec’s tailbone, then Alec felt steady fingers spreading his cheeks wide. He gasped loudly when Magnus’s tongue trailed swiftly across his cleft, starting to tease him mercilessly, licking and sucking but never pushing inside. Soon, Alec was reduced to a panting and trembling mess, on the verge of begging, raw need cursing through each of his nerve endings. Magnus teased him for what seemed like hour, unrelenting, deaf to Alec's almost desperate pleas. When he thought he couldn't possibly take more without losing his mind, he _finally_ felt the pressure of Magnus' tongue breaching him open.

He gasped, fingers gripping tightly the sheets. “Magnus, _please._ ” 

Magnus hummed, mouth still around his entrance and it took all Alec had to fight the urge to arch his back as the vibrations reverberated through his whole body. For the following five minutes Alec could only focus on the drag of Magnus’ tongue inside him, burning him from the inside out, barely aware of the obscene, needy sounds coming out of his own mouth.

After what felt like an eternity, Magnus pulled back, leavng him empty. Alec almost sobbed at the loss. He pushed back, chasing the warmth of Magnus' mouth, chasing his touch, chasing the slightest contact. As he was about to beg again, he felt the crackle of magic in the air. He gasped as two lubed fingers filled him again, pushing back eagerly, muscles clenching around the digits. Magnus took his time in stretching him open, adding a third finger and proceeding to drive him to madness with slow strokes across his prostate. When Magnus pulled out his fingers, Alec didn't have the time to vocalize his protest. The lubed tip of the dildo was placed against his entrance before he could open his mouth to speak.

“Do you want it, Alexander?” Magnus asked, moving the toy in slow, teasing circles.

“ _Fuck_ _,_ Magnus. Yes, _please,_ ” he begged, fingers gripping the sheets tighter.

“So eager,” Magnus murmured,  slowly pushing the toy inside, noticing as Alec shifted a little at the foreign intrusion.  “Are you in any discomfort?”

Alec thought it over. It was different from the heat of Magnus’ cock but not ina negative way. It was not uncomfortable and at that point Alec was desperate for just about _anything_. “No. I'm okay.”

Magnus hummed in aprroval, starting to push the toy in and out with shallow movements. He let Alec get familiar with the foreign feeling then he pushed it all the way in, shifting it around until he heard Alec’s high-pitched moan. Once the dildo was brushing over Alec’s prostate, Magnus stepped back.

He slapped Alec’s right cheek, issuing a firm order. “Get up. On the bed. Lie on your back.”

Alec had to take a few deep breaths before he was able to get up. He stood on unsteady legs, climbing on the bed, waiting for further commands. He saw Magnus approaching with a speculative look on his face, still fully clothed, mouth stretching into a slow smile. Alec lost the ability to think when he saw Magnus holding the soft ropes and reaching out to grab one of his arms.

“Alexander," Magnus breathed, fingers dancing slowly across the soft skin of his inner arm. "I’m going to tie you to the bedposts and have you at my complete mercy.” 

Alec threw his head back with a moan, breath coming out in shorts bursts, cock throbbing harder. They had talked about bondage and he was _dying_ to try it out. “ _Please,_ ” he panted.

Magnus secured Alec’s limbs to the bedposts one by one, taking his time to tease him with soft brushes of his fingers, igniting his skin on fire with every touch. As soon as Alec was thoroughly tied up and at Magnus' complete mercy, he stepped back. “How does it feel? I need you to tell me if the knots are too tight.”

Alec tried a tentative struggle against the bonds. They were _perfect_. “I’m good,” he breathed.

Magnus smiled wide, then his mouth curved into a wicked smirk. “I’m afraid I have to step away for a few minutes. There’s an important business call I need to attend to.”

 _What?_   “Magnus,” he gasped, a thrill of excitement buzzing over his skin. “You – You _can’t._ ”

Magnus face hardened, every trace of playfulness gone from his features. “Care to repeat that again?” 

Alec shivered. _God_. “Please, Magnus,” he begged, even though the anticipation was enough to make him feel dizzy. “You can’t leave me like this.”

Magnus’ voice was still dangerously low when he answered. “You will find out that I can do as I please,” he said, fingers pinching Alec's left nipple. “Now, be a good boy and wait for me. But first…” he walked toward the bed again, snapping his fingers and  summoning what looked like a small band. “We can’t have you come before I touch you, can we?”

 _Oh fuck_ , Aleck thought, half-crazy with desire. He couldn’t help the moan from slipping past his lips as Magnus leaned over and fastened the cock ring on the base of his throbbing cock.

Magnus looked at him with half-lidded eyes. “Word?”

“Green. _Fuck_ , green.”

“I’ll be right here,” Magnus said, making eye contact with him, making sure Alec knew he was there for him. He turned around slowly, walking away from the bed, summoning an armchair with a snap of his fingers and taking what looked like a small remote out of his pocket. He pressed on a button and the dildo in Alec’s ass started to _vibrate_. “Have fun,” he said, sitting down slowly, eyes never leaving a moaning and struggling Alec on the bed.

“Now, I need you to be a good Nephilim for me,” Magnus said, taking his phone out of his pocket. “The only sound I want to hear out of your mouth is your safeword, if you need to use it. If you’ll behave, I may be inclined to feel charitable and reward you.”

Alec barely registered the dial sounds coming from the phone. The vibrations from the toy were reverberating through his whole body and he was positive he would have already come untouched if it wasn’t for the ring placed on his cock. It was _too much_. And yet _not enough_.

He could hear Magnus’ voice washing over him but he couldn’t understand any of the words, focused only on the strain to keep quiet. He trashed on the bed, struggling against the ropes, aching for his Dom's touch, desperate with the need of release.

By the time Magnus ended the call and stood, Alec was fairly sure he was going out of his mind. As soon as he saw Magnus approach him, he started to babble. “ _Please_. I need you. _Please, please_. Magnus, _fuckmefuckme_.”

Magnus looked at him with his mouth slightly parted, eyes dark with lust. “Look at you,” he whispered, walking slowly toward him. “You did so good. You look beautiful like this. Begging for my cock.”

Alec keened at the praise, renewing his struggles against the bonds. “ _Please_ , Magnus.”

“Very well. You have earned it.” Magnus started to unbutton his shirt, one maddening button after the other, exposing inch after inch of smooth skin. He shrugged his shirt away, taking off the rest of his clothes slowly, never taking his eyes off Alec’s writhing form. Once he was fully naked, he bent over to pick up the remote from his discarded pants. With the press of a finger, Alec sagged with relief.

If Alec wasn’t out of his mind with lust, he would have taken the time to appreciate Magnus' lithe, yet well-built body, smooth golden skin over flexing muscles as he climbed on the bed.

Magnus positioned himself between Alec, waving his hand and vanishing the bonds tying Alec's legs to the bedposts. He bent over to kiss both of Alec’s ankles, then he kissed his way up over one of Alec’s legs, lingering over the sensible skin on his inner thigh, his tongue sending sparks of fire across Alec's spine. His tongue slided across his skin, leaving a wet trail on its path, pausing only few inches away from Alec's groin. He made eye contact with Alec, tongue darting out to lick his cock from base to tip in a sudden motion and, as Alec's choked scream died in a gasp, Magnus took all of it in his mouth. His hand reached between Alec’s cheeks to grab the base of the vibrator, starting to fuck Alec slowly with the toy, reducing him to a writhing mess once again.

Alec could feel his orgasm building under the double stimulation. He was certain he wouldn't have been able to hold back and refrain from coming if it weren't for the steady pressure of the cock ring around his cock. He focused on the heat of Magnus' mouth combined with the feeling of toy pushing in and out of him, overwhelmed by pleasure so intense it was almost painful to bear. Almost.  When he considered starting to beg again, Magnus took carefully the toy out and released his cock with a wet pop. Alec's hips arched off the mattress, a low whine slipping past his lips. 

“Normally, I would take my time to worship your body while you are all tied up like this,” Magnus whispered, voice husky. ”But you were so good for me, Alexander. I think you deserve your reward. Do you want it?”

Alec’s brain felt like mush. He didn't think he was able to form a coherent sentence. All it came out of his mouth was an endless litany of pleas.

Magnus summoned lube again and applied a liberal amount over his cock, lining up against Alec's entrance immediately after. And Alec sent silent thanks to the Angel for the fact that he was already stretched from the dildo. His body was taut with need, his mind fuzzy. He didn’t think he could have survived preparation. He gasped as Magnus breached him slowly, hands clasped possessively over his hips in a firm hold.  The pace Magnus set was steady, slow drags of his cock alternating with hard, deep thrusts. The only sounds in the room were their gasps and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh as Magnus took him hard, fast, deep. When Magnus paused to lft Alec’s legs up on his shoulders and started to pound into him in earnest, the new angle was enough to make Alec scream with every thrust. 

“ _Please,_ ” Alec panted, arms straining against the bonds. “I need to- _Please_.”

Magnus rhythm didn’t even falter. He kept fucking him steadily, cock sliding impossibly deep with every roll of his hips. With a wave of his hand, the cock ring snapped open and the knots keeping Alec’s arms bound came undone. “Touch yourself, Alexander,” he rasped. “Come for me.”

It took a while for Alec to regain the use of his arms. He vaguely registered the faint ache as blood started to flow again in his limbs, his only focus on a quick release. He reached between his legs, grabbing his cock, starting to stroke himself urgently, frantic with the need to come. It took him only a few strokes to come apart. Before he knew it, the orgasm hit him like a train, almost painful in its intensity. He arched off the bed with a gasp, spilling his semen all over his stomach and chest, Magnus' name on his lips. 

Magnus let out a low curse, his hips snapping deeply a few more times, body going rigid with his own release. He crashed over Alec, reaching out blindly, right hand flying over the back of Alec's head, dragging him in for a messy kiss.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, catching their breaths, holding each other. Alec whimpered when magnus started to pull away, soft cock sliding almost uncomfortably out of his body.

“I know,” Magnus whispered, placing a gentle kiss over Alec’s sweaty forehead. He rolled over and crashed on the spot at Alec’s left, wrapping his arms around Alec’s chest, drawing him closer again. Alec snuggled against him, spent, sated, and impossibly happy.

**

They were snuggling together on clean sheets, freshly showered. Magnus had spent an insane amount of time making sure Alec was okay, massaging his limbs, soothing away the stiffness of his shoulders with soft touches.  Alec smiled at the thought. His head was nestled in the crook of Magnus’ neck, his arm sprawled over Magnus' torso.

Magnus reached out and took Alec's hand, starting to massage his wrist. Alec sighed contentedly at the touch, eyes flutering open, gaze landing on the faint red marks from the struggle against the bonds. He smiled wide at the reminder.

Magnus brought the wrist to his mouth and kissed it gently. “I’m going to heal these now,” he murmured between kisses.

Alec knew that they had to be healed before going back to work but he found himself oddly reluctant to give the marks up. “Can you heal them in the morning?” he whispered.

Magnus placed a finger under his chin and tilted Alec’s head, eyes searching. He smiled at what he must have seen in there. “Of course,” he said, leaning over to peck his lips. “Now rest, darling.”

Alec sighed contentedly, shifting closer to Magnus, letting sleep claim him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual reviews and feedback will be cherished. :)


	9. Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotional hurt/comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, my deepest gratitude for your amazing comments. :)  
> After exploring their sexual escapades, I wanted to dive in the emotional side of their new relationship. If I remember correctly I was having a bad day when I wrote this chapter and it was a little cathartic. I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> No warnings for this chapter, just fluff.

The day had started magnificently. Alec had woken up with a sleeping Magnus draped all over him and they had had a nice breakfast before parting ways to start their busy schedules for the day.  Alec had ever managed to clear all of his workload beforehand. He was about to join Jace and Izzy in the command center for a strategy meeting concerning their next mission when everything had gone down to hell. His parents had showed up unannounced and Alec had to watch them undermine his authority during the meeting, nodding and gritting his teeth as they acted like they owned the place.

It had gotten worse from then. They had requested a tour of the Institute to make sure that _e_ _verything was in order_ , which had been their own not so subtle way to let him know they didn’t trust his judgement. They had managed to push all of his buttons with their little barbs and their demeaning words masked as needed advice. They had pointed out all of his inadequacies, filling his head with self-doubt, making him feel like a ten years old boy all over again.

They, admittedly, had come a long way in accepting Alec for who he was and accepting that his relationship with Magnus _wouldn’t_ go away. But that didn’t mean they were suddenly going to be all warm and fuzzy. Criticism was in their genetic makeup and once, Alec would have been frantic with the need to be better for them, to jump as high as they demanded of him.

Now Alec knew better. He knew that he was a good leader and that he was doing everything he could to do a good job. Magnus had played a huge part on that.

That didn’t mean that he was unaffected. By the time Robert and Maryse had left for Idris, Alec was a mess. He was filled with a sense of inadequacy he hadn’t experienced in months, self-doubt twisting his gut in a vice, his thoughts all over the place. _Not enough. Never enough_.

He didn’t understand why he was feeling like this. He had had a lifetime to get used to this kind of treatment from his parents. But then it hit him: he hadn’t felt like this in months. Lately he had been feeling happy, sure of himself, loved. It was no wonder he felt more affected than usual now.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice his feet had lead him to the training room. He shrugged. He could do with some exercise.

That was how Izzy found him thirty minutes later. Hitting the punchbag over and over, bruised knuckles, sweat rolling down his forehead and his naked torso, breathing hard with exertion.

He didn’t notice her until she spoke. “Alec.”

He stopped punching the bag, wiping sweat off his face and turning toward the voice. “What, Izzy?”

If she was hurt by his snappish tone, she didn’t let it show. “You are done for the day, Alec,” she said. “Go home.” _don’t punish yourself like this, they are not worth it_ , was implied. Alec could read it in her eyes.

“Yeah,” he rasped, reaching out to grab his shirt. “You are right. I’ll go.” _thank you_ , was implied as well.

 _Home_ , Alec thought. _I’d rather be there_.

**

By the time Alec was back home, he had regained a semblance of control but the thoughts in his head were still loud. All he wished was to curl up on the couch with Magnus and forget the whole day. But Magnus wasn’t home yet and Alec needed him. He kept himself busy with a hot shower, letting the hot water soothe his stiff muscles. When he walked out of the bedroom, clad in freshclothes, Magnus wasn't snowhere in sight. He settled on the couch to wait for him with a shrug.

Time stretched into eternity as he waited in silence. Alec could feel his frustration growing by the minute. When, finally, Magnus stepped through the portal, Alec couldn’t think straight.

Magnus approached him with a huge smile. “Alex-“

“Where the hell have you been?” Alec spat out, standing to face him.

Magnus’ smile faltered. “Darling, is everything okay?”

 _No, nothing is okay, please fix it_. Alec wanted to scream. “As if you care,” he snarled instead. He knew that he was taking his frustration out on Magnus but he couldn’t help it.

Magnus frowned, looking at him with concerned eyes but Alec could see the hint of annoyance in there as well. “I beg your pardon?”

Alec wanted nothing more than to kneel, and apologize, and feel Magnus’ arms around him. “Where the hell have you been?” he repeated instead.

“You know that I was with a client. What prompted this?” Now Magnus looked angry. Alec couldn’t really blame him.

Alec ached to beg for forgiveness but he was too worked up and pride and frustration had the better of him. “Well, I’d tell you, if you weren’t such a self-centered bastard.” He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.

Magnus’ eyes flashed yellow. “ _Enough!_ ” He didn’t raise his voice but Alec shivered at the sheer steel of his tone. “Get on your knees. _Now_.”

Alec’s knees hit the floor before he realized what he was doing. He vaguely registered the pain as they made contact with the hard floor, bowing his head with a strangled gasp. As soon as he felt Magnus’ hands stroking tenderly his hair, he let out a small sob.

“It’s okay,” Magnus whispered. “I’m here.” He kept stroking Alec’s hair gently. “My beautiful Nephilim. What happened to you?”

The gentle words, the reassurance, Magnus’ comforting presence were suddenly too much. Alec didn’t deserve any of it. “I’m sorry,” he croaked. “Magnus, I’m _so_ sorry.”

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Magnus summoned an armchair and sat down, never stopping the gentle touches on Alec’s head. “You are doing so good.”

Alec melted into the touch, leaning over and placing his head over the Magnus' lap with a sigh.

“That’s it, darling,” Magnus murmured, fingers still carding through Alec's hair. “Let it go. Let me take care of you.”

Alec felt like he was falling apart. The only things keeping him focused were Magnus’ touch and the soft voice washing over him, holding him together. He felt safe, protected, light as he didn’t have any care in the world, as if Magnus had taken all of his worries away. The floor was hard under his knees but Alec was sure that as long as Magnus kept running his fingers through his hair and stroking his scalp like that, there was no other place he wanted to be.

**

Alec had no idea how much time had passed when, at last, he raised his head from Magnus’ lap. Magnus had never stopped carding his fingers through his hair.

“Feeling better?” Magnus murmured.

“Much.” Alec’s voice was rough. “Thank you, Magnus.” 

Magnus leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “Don’t mention it, darling,” he said. “I’ll always take care of you.”

Alec had no doubt about that. “How did you know that I needed….?” he trailed off.

“I wasn’t sure about it but it seemed the best guess,” Magnus said, asmall smile playing on his lips. “Our dynamics have changed. We have been doing this for a while now. It’s only natural for your submissive instincts to surface when you are upset or in need of some comfort.”

“It makes sense.” Alec shifted a little, until he was settled between the Magnus' thighs. He sighed contentedly as strong arms wrapped around him, leaning into the embrace gratefully. “Magnus, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Alec. We can talk about if later if you want.” Magnus nudged Alec up and stood. Once they were both standing, he pulled Alec into another hug. When they pulled back, he took one of Alec’s hands in his own, noticing for the first time the bruises on his knuckles. He frowned and reached for Alec’s other hand, which was sporting a matching set of bruises.

“Oh, Alexander,” he whispered, eyes soft, understanding. “I wish you wouldn’t do this to yourself.” He kissed the abused knuckles softly and with a swipe of his blue-sparkling hands, the bruises were gone.

Alec sighed. “I’m sorry. I got a bit carried away.”

“Let’s go,” Magnus said, taking one of Alec's hands and leading him toward the kitchen. “I think we need to put some food into you.”

“That sounds good. I could eat.”

**

Dinner had been a quiet affair. They had eaten in companionable silence, broken only by Alec’s quiet chuckles every time Magnus took a morsel of food and fed it to him with his fingers. It had been nice. They had decided to forego tv and now they were lazily kissing on the bed. Nothing passionate or sexual, just soft brushes of tongues and gentle pecks.

Alec was unwinding further. He felt content in Magnus' arms. The embrace was grounding him, making him feel safe and at ease. The arms around him felt like a shield from everything, a safe haven. He felt like nothing could touch him there.

He shifted slightly back and sighed. “Magnus, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on you.”

Magnus hummed, his hand running down Alec's back in a soothing touch. “Want to talk about it?”

And Alec did. The words spilled out of him in a rush, like poison seeping out of a wound, leaving it raw but ready to heal. By the time he was finished talking, he felt much better. He felt like like a weight was off his shoulder, like Magnus had taken that weight from him and set him free. He paused. “So when I came home and you weren’t here, I sort of freaked out,” he admitted. “I’m really sorry.”

Magnus voice was very soft when he answered. “You are forgiven.” He kissed Alec again, lips brushing softly against his. “I wish you would see how much you are worth. You are a great leader, Alexander. The best the New York Institute has ever had.”

“I think you might be a little biased,” Alec joked, the beginning of a smile stretching his lips. “But I’m getting there. I promise, Magnus.”

“Oh, you wound me, Alexander!” Magnus said with an overdramatic gasp. “I’m nothing but impartial.” He flashed a brief smile to Alec, face sobering up immediately after. “You will. We’ll get there together. But in the meantime, I think a new rule is in order.”

Alec groaned. “What is it?”

“From now on, if you need me you will call me.” He looked at Alec in the eye, face serious. “I can’t be here if I don’t know I’m needed.”

“But, your clients…”

“There will be times when I won’t be able to leave on short notice,” Magnus conceded. “But I will do my best. You are my priority, Alexander. Never forget that.”

“I – Got it,” he stammered. “I will. Thank you.”

Once, Alec would have been terrified to be someone else’s priority. It was a new feeling for him. But as Magnus kissed him again, he thought that for the first time he felt like he _belonged_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too much fluff? :)


	10. A very uncomfortable dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and some fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure I would be able to update today. I managed to get less than 6 hours of fitful sleep, plagued by nightmares. Then I had to run errands in the afternoon. I got back home half-sick and I found a huge workload waiting for me (I work from home). I've been working ever since and now I've taken a little break. 
> 
> The only highlight of the day was coming home to your wonderful comments, so thank you! :)
> 
> Warnings: erotic spanking, sex toys.

Alec was sitting on the bed, ready to go out for a while now. But Magnus was still standing in front of the closet, trying to decide what to wear for the night. Once in a while he would take out something, study it and then toss it back with an exasperated sigh.

“Magnus, come on,” Alec chided, fingers tapping impatiently against his thigh. “Just put something on and let’s go.”

“Patience, darling.” Magnus took a shirt out of the closet, grimaced, and threw it on the flor. “Perfection takes time to achieve.”

 _That vain ass._ Alec groaned, assuming a more comfortable position on the bed. It seemed like he was going to have to wait for a while. His mind went back to the last month. It had been a little more than a month since his breakdown and, since then, Alc had been happy. He still slipped sometimes. After all, it wasn’t easy to delete years of self-awareness but he was doing much better. Magnus had been there for him every step of the way.

Besides, the sex had been amazing. Alec had thought that once the novelty would wear off, he wouldn’t be as excited with their new dynamics. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. Magnus had introduced him to new heights of pleasure every time they made love. They didn’t always play or engage in scenes. Sometimes the need for each other was too strong and sudden that they ended up making out on the couch, on the kitchen counter, all roles forgotten, just taking pleasure from each other.

Alec loved those moments. The connection between him and Magnus could never be boring, not even after engaging in kinky sex. And what amazing sex it was. They were getting much better at it, Alec thought. Now Magnus didn’t need to ask Alec if what they were doing was okay, because he trusted Alec to use his safeword if needed. Alec hadn’t needed to use it once.

He felt his cock stir at the thought of sex. There was this time Magnus had had him cuffed, taking his time to tease and explore every part of Alec’s body, bringing him to the edge over and over again without allowing him to come, until he was a blubbering and pleading mess. Or even better, when Magnus had ordered him to lie with his back to the headboard and stroke himself, while he was sitting on an armchair in front of the bed, fully clothed, watching every move. Alec would tell Magnus when he was getting close, and Magnus would order him to slow down, then stop altogether. The teasing had went on and on, until Alec was crazy with the need to come and only then Magnus had sucked him off, then proceeded to pound him into the mattress.

Alec didn’t even notice Magnus was ready and was watching him intently. He was too engrossed in his own memories. He didn’t even notice he had started to stroke himself absentmindedly through the fabric of his pants.

“Ah, ah.” Magnus’ voice brought him back to reality. “No touching. I’ve made reservations. We can’t afford to be late.”

Alec huffed, hand reluctantly moving away from his cock. “Magnus, come on. It’s your fault. You took too long to get ready.”

Magnus chuckled. “Not the point,” he said, voice teasing. “Now, I don’t think you’ll have your release until I say so. If you are good for me until we get back home, you will have your reward.”

Alec’s breath hitched. “Oh, come on. You can’t expect me to survive like this through the whole dinner.”

“Not only I do, but you _will._ ” Magnus’ voice had taken that commanding tone that made Alec’s insides melt. “And since you seem so inclined to defy my orders, we’ll add a little more discomfort.”

 Alec gasped, mind starting to supply him details about several ways Magnus could add more discomfort. “What?”

“Get up.” A direct order. Magnus waited, nodding in approval as Alec scrambled to his feet. “Now, dispose of your pants and underwear and bend over the bed.”

Alec hurried to obey, trying to bite back the moan crawling up his throat. Soon he felt lubed fingers spreading him and working him open, stroking and stretching him almost to the point of begging. When he thought he couldn’t possibly take more, he felt something cool and slick being pressed slowly into him. Alec gasped, recognizing the feeling of a butt plug being pushed inside his ass. They had played with plugs but always between the four walls of the loft, never out the in the open. Alec felt a thrill of worry and excitement crawl over his skin at the thought. He was impossibly hard, aching cock already leaking pre-come. He surged forward unconsciously, hips pushing to get some needed friction on the edge of the bed. He jerked as a sharp slap landed on his ass, moaning quietly as the heat left his skin tingling.

“Stop it. I meant it Alec, no touching or coming until we get back home,” Magnus ordered, face set in hard lines. “You’ll be good for me. Now, stand and get dressed. Tardiness is unseemly.”

**

Alec shifted in his seat, trying to stave off the pressure of the plug. It kept increasing with every movement, his incessant shifting making it worse. They were at the Cape and Magnus had insisted in a three course dinner, _the bastard_. Magnus looked impeccable as usual in his extravagant clothing, eccentric jewelry, makeup on point as always. He had seemed totally unaffected as he discussed about wine and appetizers with their waiter. Alec wasn't fooled by his façade. He could see straight through it and he knew that Magnus was just as excited as he was.

Alec took his last bite and placed his fork down, done with his steak. He was starting to understand what insanity must feel like. He took his glass, needing to keep his hands occupied, bringing it to his lips. He took a sip of wine but his fingers were shaking so much that he spilled some of it on the cuff of his shirt.

“Fuck,” he cursed, setting the glass down on the table and standing. “I’ll be right back.” 

He walked to the restroom, making his way to the sink, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. He cleaned his shirt as best as possible, frowning at the lingering stain, shrugging as he realized Magnus probably could vanish it with a flick of his wrist. The thought of Magnus waiting for him at their table, ready to tease him some more before taking him home, sent heat pooling in his lower abdomen all over again. He leaned over the sink, opening the faucet and spraying cold water over his face. His relief was short lived. He gasped and bit back a moan as the movement brought his still hard cock against the edge of the sink. As if on its own accord, his hand went down to stroke his cock a few times, just to lessen the pressure.

“Disobeying me, Alexander?” Magnus’ hard voice made him jump. “That won’t do.”

“I wasn’t – I was just….”

“No excuses,” Magnus chided, walking toward him with measured steps. “Bend over the sink.”

 _What?_ “Magnus you can’t…”

“Oh, you are right. Silly me.” Magnus's voice was deceptively sweet, his eyes assessing Alec. “Disregard that order.” Alec's relief was short lived. “Now, drop your pants _and_ bend over the sink.”

“M-Magnus?”

“ _Now_ , Alexander.”

And Alec could never resist _that_ tone of voice. He slowly did what he was ordered to, heat spreading over his cheeks. He was terrified someone would step in and see him like that but at the same time, he felt a thrill of excitement running all over his body at the thought. His cock twitched in response. 

Magnus slowly walked toward him, placing himself behind Alec's bent form, a little to the side. He placed a steady hand on the small of Alec’s back and leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Now, let’s remind you who is in charge here.”

Alec shivered, his cock jerking again as Magnus' hot breath ghosted over his skin. The first slap took him by surprise. He couldn't help the loud moan from slipping past his lips as Magnus’s hand crashed on his boxer-clad ass. He had to take a moment to compose himself, head bowed down, breath coming out in short bursts. Then he found his voice.

“Magnus,” he gasped. “They – they’ll hear.”

Another swat landed on his ass, eliciting another low moan from his throat. “Then I guess you’ll have to do your best to keep silent, uh?”

And Alec tried to be silent. He tried to keep in the gasps and tone down the moans as stinging slap after stinging slap landed on his ass. The swats weren’t _that_ hard but they left a sting behind, a good kind of sting that turned into warmth, seeping into his skin and eliciting breathy moans from his throat. Every few swat Magnus would pause and rub his ass, taking away the sting only to apply it again shortly after. It was _glorious_.

After what Alec thought were hours but had to have been just two minutes, Magnus stopped. “Have you learned you lesson?”

“Yes,” Alec panted, feeling every inch of his skin set on fire. “Yes. No touching without permission.”

“Good boy.” Magnus rubbed his ass one last time and patted lightly his back. “You can stand now.”

Alec hurried to stand, putting his clothes back in place. Now that the excitement had faded a little, he felt his cheek burning in embarassment again. His eyes darted to the side, sending an anxious glance at the closed door.

“Oh, don’t worry that pretty head of yours.” Magnus chuckled, reaching out to stroke his cheek. “I’ve put up wards.” He laughed at Alec’s affronted expression. “Now, are you ready to get back? We still have _dessert_ to order.”

Alec groaned. _That fucking bastard_.

**

By the time they finished their dessert, Alec was ready to beg. The pressure was almost unberable, sweat was starting to bead over his forehead, desire and need were almost enough to consume him whole. He glanced at Magnus, almost sagging in relief as he saw the hunger in his eyes. He watched with barely contained excitement as Magnus stood, asked for the bill, and was quick to pay for their dinner.

They were about to leave the restaurant, when a sickeningly sweet voice made them turn around.

“Seriously, Magnus?” Camille fucking Belcourt was walking toward them. “Haven’t you gotten tired of your boy-toy yet?”

Magnus looked positively furious. He clenched his jaw “Get lost, Camille,” he growled.

She seemed unaffected. “Oh, you will. Humans are flimsy things. Mayflies, really.” Camille didn’t wait for a reply, she just turned around and left.

Magnus took a few deep breaths to calm himself. “Don’t listen to her, darling,” he said, squeezing Alec's hand. “That woman is toxic.”

And Alec knew that. But she had just pushed the right buttons, playing with the insecurities always present in the back of his mind. He sighed. “I know.”

Magnus smiled softly,  hands moving to cup his face. “You know I love you, right?”

Alec had no doubt. “Yeah. I love you too.”

“Good. Because I have plans for you tonight and I’d hate for them to be disrupted by that harpy.” He winked at Alec, right hand trailing down his torso and surreptitiously stroking his cock through the fabric of his pants.

Alec gasped, skin ablaze once more. He dragged his boyfriend in for a kiss, Camille Belcourt forgotten just like that.

**

Once back to the loft, Magnus didn’t waste time. “Wait for me in the bedroom. On the bed, on your hands and knees.”

Alec didn’t make him say it twice. Soon he was on all fours, waiting for Magnus, cock aching and leaking. It took all he had to refrain himself from reaching behind and take out the plug. The steady, unrelenting pressure almost at uncomfortable levels now.

After what felt like ages, Magnus stepped inside the room. He hummed his assent and approached Alec, taking off his clothes as he walked. Alec felt the mattress dip as Magnus climbed on the bed. He felt a warm hand caressing his side and stopping  over his ass in a possessive gesture. He felt heat sparking from the touch, spreading and spreading until it threatened to burn him alive. 

“What do you think, Alexander? Have you been good for me?” Magnus murmured, hand still brushing against Alec's cheeks. “Do you think you have earned your reward?”

Alec wanted to shout that _yes_ , he deserved his reward. “I – I touched myself,” he whispered dejectedly instead.

“Ah.” Magnus was stroking his back with one finger now. “That you did,” he chided. “But you have already been punished for it.” He affirmed his words with another stinging slap on Alec’s ass that had him gasp and writhe. “If you’ll beg nicely, I might be inclined to oblige you.”

Alec was past the point of caring about how needy he felt. “ _Please,_ Magnus," he managed to rasp between ragged breaths. "I need you."

“Look at you,” Magnus said, voice low and husky. “Begging so nicely.” His hands cupped Alec’s ass and squeezed.

“ _By the Angel_ , Magnus.”

“What do you want Alexander?”

“I – You. _Anything,_ ” he breathed. “ _Please_.”

“Spread your legs,” Magnus ordered. “Yes, like that. Now spread your cheeks.”

Once, Alec would have been incredibly embarrassed at the thought of exposing himself like that. Right then, he didn't think there was something he wouldn’t happily do to please Magnus. To please himself. He obeyed the order, reaching back and spreading himself open, rewarded by Magnus’ fingers at his entrance, slowly taking out the plug.

“You are so good. So beautiful. Stretched and ready for me,” Magnus murmured, summoning lube, moaning quietly as he coated his cock. 

When Alec started to consider begging some more, Magnus _finally_ lined himself to his entrance and _plunged_.

The sex was hard, and fast, and urgent. Alec wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

**

After a short shower, they were both cuddling together on the bed. Alec was soaking in Magnus' attention, as usual. “Magnus, that was…”

“Yes, darling it was. You were perfect.” Magnus accompanied the worlds with a tender kiss. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Alec smiled, shifting even closer. “But you could have told me you had put the wards up.” 

“And where would have been the fun in that?” Magnus asked, amusement coloring his voice. “You loved it. Admit it.”

“Yeah, I did,” Alec conceded. “But you are a fucking _sadist_.”

Magnus arched an eyebrow. “I thought that was the point.”

They couldn’t stop laughing for a while after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have much time to check the chapter as thoroughly as I'd have liked, I hope I haven't overlooked too many mistakes.


	11. The Green Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealousy and some trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, sorry for the delay. Yesterday I took a day off and had a nice evening out. I'm still running on caffeine but I feel much better now.  
> I'll try to add the next chapter later but I can't promise anything. Probably I'll update again tomorrow.  
> The last two days haven't been totally unproductive though. I've written another ficlet, reviewed an additional one-shot in this universe, and torn down the last chapter of this fic to write it all over again. So there's that.  
> Anyway, back to the chapter. My Alec is a little ooc here and I apologize. This was just me setting him up again. I might have gone a little overboard. This is the last time I set him up, I swear.  
> 

Alec was furious. He knew Camille Belcourt would come back and bite him in the ass, he _just knew it_. He had been quick to dismiss her hurtful words but they had kept lingering in his subconscious, eating away at him. He had barely been able to push her out of his mind until that morning. They were having a nice breakfast, interrupted by the buzz of Magnus' phone. Alec hadn’t paid any mind to it at first. It wasn’t unusual for Magnus to receive phone calls from clients even early in the morning.

Until he had heard Magnus’ cold voice. “ _Camille,_ ” he had said. “ _What do you want?”_

Jealousy was an ugly thing, Alec thought. He had listened to Magnus’ end of the conversation, gut twisting painfully when he had heard Magnus reluctantly arrange a meeting. Magnus had explained to him that it was a professional meeting, that she required a special spell and, considering their history, he couldn’t refuse her one little favor. Alec had argued that she could have asked it to another warlock and Magnus had retorted that he probably was the only warlock still amenable to do her a favor. Alec had shrugged, unable to come back with a reasonable reply, not wanting to show Magnus how much this was affecting him.

They had finished their breakfast in silence and Alec had gone to work with a quick peck on Magnus’ mouth and a heavy heart.

Now he couldn’t stop thinking about the meeting. Just imagining Magnus and Camille sitting in some cozy bar while they discussed the details of the spell, made his blood boil. Magnus was _his._ That bitch didn’t have any right to even talk to him. Not after the hell she had put him through. Not when she was bound to poison his mind with every word coming out of her mouth.

 _Damn Magnus and his big heart to hell_ , Alec thought. It wasn’t fair. Alec knew that Magnus loved him but he couldn’t deny Camille was a very beautiful woman, and a very persuasive one at that. What if she managed to plant the seed of doubt in Magnus’ mind? What if Alec wasn’t enough? He couldn’t offer Magnus forever. She could, in her own twisted way.

A Mayfly, she had called him. Was that all he was?

 _No_ , Alec couldn’t think like that. He trusted his boyfriend without questions. Magnus would meet the bitch, provide her with the spell, and leave. And that was it.

By the time Alec had gone through his morning schedule, the anger had left his system. He was just antsy and on edge. He needed reassurance, he needed comfort, he needed Magnus. His finger hovered over the call button for quite some time ( _If you need me, you will call me_ ) but he couldn’t bring himself to call Magnus in the end. He didn’t want to come across as pushy, and needy, and jealous. He put away his phone with a sigh, aware he was breaking one of Magnus’ rules but  thinking he’d deal with that when he didn’t feel like he could throw up anytime soon.

By noon, Alec was a bundle of nerves. He was so lost in his own mind that when his phone rang, he jumped. As soon as he read the caller’s ID, he let out a relieved sigh. Magnus. He tried to compose himself at best as he could and pressed the accept button.

“Hey Magnus,” he greeted, voice surprisingly steady.

“Alexander.” Alec could hear the smile in Magnus’ tone. “I wanted to get in touch. Make sure you are okay.”

Alec wanted to ask if he had seen her. He wanted to ask for details about the meeting. But in the end he couldn’t. “I’m good,” he lied. “How about you?”

“Are you sure, darling? I have a break before the next client and I wouldn’t mind swinging by the Institute.”

There was nothing more Alec wanted. “I’m positive, Magnus.” He tried to sound cheerful. “It has just been a little crazy here.”

“Well, then. I’ll see you at home, darling,” Magnus said. “I love you.”

Alec could breathe a little easier. “I love you too.”

Alec ended the phone call, put the phone down on the desk and sighed. _Great._ He had just broken a second rule.

**

Alec had been imagining scenarios of the meeting all day but nothing could have prepared him for _this_. Camille _Queen Bitch_ Belcourt was in their living room, standing in front of Magnus with a coy smile, like she fucking owned the place, leaning too close to his boyfriend.

Alec saw red. “What is she doing here?” he snarled.

“My, my. Your boy has atrocious manners,” she chirped, making a point of touching Magnus' shoulder. “Is this the way to greet a guest?”

“ _Camille,_ ” Magnus warned, taking a step away from her.

“You are no fun,” she said with a pout. “I suppose I should take my leave. I’ll be back tomorrow to retrieve my spell.” She winked at Alec and walked past him toward the door, stepping out without bothering to close it behind her.

 _Tomorrow?_   Alec turned to Magnus, posture rigid with renewed anger. “What was she doing here?”

Magnus offered him a tentative smile. “She was here to discuss the specifics of the spell,” he said. “You knew I had to meet her.”

“Yes, but not _here._ ” He was aware how childish that sounded but he was past rational thought. He felt like there was a green ugly thing coiled in his stomach, roaring in outrage and twisting painfully his guts.

“Darling, you have no reason to be jealous,” Magnus said, walking slowly toward him. “Whatever there was between Camille and I, is over.”

“is it though?” Alec asked, stepping back. “She can give you something I can’t.”

“Alexander, there’s _nothing_ she could give me that you couldn’t. There’s nothing I would _want_ from her.” Magnus tone was measured, as if he thought Alec could crack.

Alec was close to cracking. “She’s immortal.”

“You know I don’t care about that, Alec. I love _you,_ ” Magnus said, stopping in his tracks as he noticed Alec was backing away. “Be reasonable dar-“

“Reasonable?” Alec snarled. “You want _reasonable_?”

“Alexander.” Magnus sounded annoyed now. He took a deep breath and when he spoke, his voice was calm and measured once more. “Look, if it bothers you, I can meet her elsewhere or I could-”

“You know what sounds reasonable?” Alec interrupted, dismissing Magnus' words with a wave of his hand. “It’s reasonable to think that once I’ll be gone, you’ll go back to her. So why don’t you spare yourself time and pain and go after her now?”

Alec knew that that had been the wrong thing to say, even before Magnus’ face turned in a hard mask. “ _Get out of my sight_.”

Alec gasped, reeling back at the words. “W-what?”

Magnus took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose as if to stave off a headache. When he looked back at Alec, his face showerd no traces of anger. Just traces of something suspiciously like sadness and disappointment. “Just…” he trailed off. “Just wait for me here. I need some space.” He didn't give Alec the time to argue. He turned around and walked to the bedroom, closing the door after him with a soft click.

To Alec felt like he had slammed it.

Icy tendrils of panic gripped his heart in a vice. Alec felt the sudden urge to grovel, to beg, to plead. _I need some space_. The phrase swirled in his head over and over, until he felt he was going to be sick. _What have I done?_ He thought. Magnus had been reasonable about the whole thing, he had tried to find a compromise, to reassure Alec that he was loved and that there was nothing that could change that. And Alec had snarked, insulted, lied to, offended him. He had hurt Magnus. He knew how Magnus felt about the thought that one day Alec would be gone, and Alec had rubbed his mortality in Magnus’ face just like that.

Alec wanted nothing more than to kneel and feel Magnus’ calming touch on his head, like the last time. But he couldn’t ask for that, could he? Magnus _needed space_. He walked to the front door in a trance-like state, knowing he needed to get out of there or he was bound to make things worse.

He walked without a destination, unaware of his surroundings, not noticing how much he had been walking until he realized his feet had brought him to the Hunter’s Moon. He had never thought of himself as a drinker but now he thought could use some liquid comfort. So he walked in, took his seat at a secluded table, turned his phone off, and proceeded to drown his sorrow in beer. He never noticed the dark-haired vampire watching him closely from another table.

Alec _definitely_ wasn’t a drinker. By the time he decided he had too much, his head felt already fuzzy but he refused to acknowledge that he was drunk. What he needed, he thought, was just a nice walk to clear his head and maybe something to kill. In his inebriated state of mind, he thought that going for a little hunt would be a completely reasonable idea. There was a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Magnus ( _You will not put yourself in danger_ ) but he pushed it away. He needed the stress relief.

Even in his intoxicated state, Alec could recognize when someone was following him. After all the long years of training, it was like a second instinct to him. He turned around, holding the seraph dagger he kept on himself at all times, trying to focus on the figure coming toward him.

“Relax, Shadowhunter.” Raphael Santiago was approaching, a scowl on his face.

“Santiago,” he said, a matching scowl on his own face. “What do you want?”

“Oh, how about making sure a drunk Shadowhunter doesn’t get himself killed?” he drawled, pointing at Alec. "There are many people who would jump at the chance."

“I’m not drunk,” he said, dismissing the concerns with a wave of his hand. “I need to kill something.” 

“ _Dios mio!_ ” The vampire sounded aggravated. “Have you lost your mind?” 

“I’m not drunk,” he repeated, turning around and and walking away. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

Raphael let out a string of curses. “Tough,” he said, starting to walk beside him. “Magnus would have my head if something happened to you.”

“Ah,” Alec replied, slurring the words. “Magnus _needs space._ ” 

“God save me from idiotic Shadowhunters.” Raphael rolled his eyes but continued to walk with Alec.

“Fine,” Alec grunted, putting away his dagger. “Suit yourself.”

They walked in silence for a while, Alec aching for some action, the vampire muttering curses under his breath.

“Listen, Lightwood,” Raphael said as they turned another corner. “No demons to kill tonight.” He gestured around them. “What do you say we call it a night and walk back to Magnus’ loft?”

“I can’t go back to the loft,” Alec slurred again. “Magnus _needs space_.”

“And if I know that lovesick warlock, right now he’s going out of his mind with worry,” Raphael retorted, frustration lacing his voice. He seemed to brighten all of a sudden. “Wow, did he _really_ kick you out of the loft? I didn’t think he had it in him.” The little bloodsucker sounded _pleased_.

Had Magnus kicked him out? _Get out of my sight_ , he had said. But then he had asked Alec to wait for him in the living room, hadn’t he? Alec had been so focused on the fact that Magnus needed space to listen closely to the other words he had said. Alec was still aggravated for the whole Camille thing but now guilt and worry were starting to creep in. He deflated.

“Yeah,” he conceded. “Maybe you are right. Let’s go back.”

“That’s the first sane thing I heard you say tonight, Sadowhunter.”

“I- Thank you Santiago.”

“Don’t thank me. I’m not doing this for you.” The vampire seemed almost offended at the idea. “I’m doing this for my friend.”

As they started to go back, Alec turned on his phone and almost immediately it started to ping with missed calls and texts. He had barely the time to look at Magnus’ name on the screen when there was a loud crash and three demons came out of a side road, surging toward them. Raphael let out another string of curses, body already coiled in a fighting stance. By the time the demons were dead, Shadowhunter and vampire were panting hard. Raphael looked unscathed. Just royally pissed off, Alec thought. Alec himself was not doing so good. He had bruises and scrapes, a long gash on his side oozing blood, an overwhelming urge to throw up.

He doubled over, crouching against the nearest wall, emptying his stomach, the alcohol burning a trail of fire in his throat on the way out. He was vaguely aware of Raphael dialing a phone number, barely making out the words spoken in a very aggravated tone. 

“I have your princess,” Raphael said. “We need help.”

As the vampire snapped out an address and closed the call, Alec relaxed, knowing Magnus was coming to help. He was sure he owed his life to Raphael Santiago of all people.

Less than a minute later, Magnus stepped out of a portal, running toward them. “Alexander!” He sounded so distressed that Alec's heart ached inside his ribcage.

As soon as Magnus reached them, he drawn Alec in a crushing hug, whispering apologies and nonsense words into his hair. Alec melted into the hug, feeling safe and happy for the first time in hours.

“How touching.” Raphael sounded everything but touched.

Magnus seemed to notice him for the first time. He was still holding Alec to his chest when he spoke. “What happened, Raphael?”

“Ah,” the vampire said, avoiding Magnus' gaze. “I think I’ll leave the story to your idiotic Shadowhunter.” Alec was oddly grateful.

“Raphael.” Magnus sounded angry now.

Conscience was a strange thing, Alec thought. “Magnus,” he slurred against Magnus' neck. “It’s not his fault. He probably saved my life.” It took almost all he had to pull back and look at the vampire. “Thank you, Santiago.”

“I told you. I did it for him.”

Magnus stilled, hands clutching Alec's shirt. “Thank you, my friend.” His voice was low, rough, laden with emotion. “I owe you.”

Raphael inclined his head. “We’re even.” And just like that,  he was gone.

Magnus’ attention snapped back to Alec. “Darling, can you stand?” he asked,  already opening a new portal.

“I think so.” When Alec tried to do just that, his head started to spin and he would have crashed on the ground if Magnus hadn’t held him up.

“Here, love. Hold on to me.”

When they stepped through the portal, Alec took in the familiar surroundings, the comforting smell, the small cat perched on the armrest of the couch.

 _Home,_ was his last thought before another wave of nausea hit him. He doubled over with a pained moan, Magnus’ hands never letting him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hugs everyone and throws chocolate to bribe you*


	12. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long overdue talk and some discipline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thank you for the lovely comments. :)  
> I'm back with today chapter. This was challenging to write. It started as a way to bring Disciplinarian Magnus back in play, but it ended up in a somewhat emotional experience for Alec. If you are bothered with discipline, it'd be better for you to skip the last part of the chapter. 
> 
> No Alecs were harmed (much) during the writing of this chapter. :)
> 
> With the participation of Approving Snoop Izzy (All credits for the name to TheMidwestJess)

Alec woke up with a pained moan. He was sure his head was about to split in half, if the incessant pounding was any indication. His mouth was as dry as the Sahara Desert. As soon as the events from the previous day came crashing into his mind, he buried his face under the blanket with a groan.

Now that jealousy had stopped twisting his guts, he remembered the ugly words he had thrown at Magnus, realizing with shame how childish he had been. He suspected most of it had stemmed from the way he had felt before coming back home. He had needed Magnus' comfort and he had refused to acknowledge it and ask for it. When Magnus had presented him with the opportunity during the phone call, he had lied and denied himself the comfort again. Then he had proceeded to throw a tantrum, get drunk, and going on a stupid hunt that could have costed him his life if it hadn’t been for Raphael Santiago and his loyalty to Magnus. If it hadn’t been for the grouchy vampire, he probably wouldn’t have had the chance to fix things.

The guilt intensified as he thought about how gracious Magnus had been. Magnus had been nothing but affectionate. He had taken care of Alec, given him comfort, without showing any lingering anger or disappointment he might have felt. After they had gotten back home, Magnus had held him while he puked all over the living room carpet, brushing the damp hair away from his forehead and murmuring encouragements. Then he had healed his wounds, helped him to the shower and in a pair of fresh sweatpants and he had put him to bed. He had held Alec during the night, helping him through the waves of nausea, summoning a bucket every time Alec was sick again.

Alec knew he needed to apologize but Magnus was nowhere in sight. Before he could start to panic, he felt soft footsteps approaching. He sighed, leaning back on the pillow, letting out a pained moan at the motion.

Magnus looked like a wreck. He was still wearing his makeup, meaning he hadn't even bothered to take a shower. It was smudged, black eyeliner blending with the dark circles under his eyes. His hair was disheveled as he had been running his hand through it over and over.

“Hey,” Alec managed to rasp. His throat felt like someone had rubbed it with sandpaper.

“Alexander.” Magnus smiled, a strained little smile. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m never drinking again,” he complained, right hand clutching his head. “I feel like I was hit by a truck.”

Magnus climbed on the bed, placed his hand on Alec’s head, and sent a little spark of magic through his fingers. “Better?”

“Yeah.” Alec was still feeling like hell but most of the pressure had dissipated from his head. “Thank you.”

Then Magnus put his arms around Alec, shifting him closer. “Alexander, I’m sorry.”

 _What?_ “What?” he blurted out. “For what?” If anyone should have been apologizing, Alec thought, it was him. “It was my fault.”

“Let me finish,” Magnus whispered, his hand smoothing away the hair from Alec's forehead. “I’m not excusing your behavior, but I should have realized sooner how much Camille was affecting you. I shouldn’t have shut you out when you confronted me about it.” He paused, hand stilling. “I was angry.”

If Alec had felt guilty before, now it was much worse. Magnus was beating himself up for something Alec had done mostly by himself. “Magnus, don’t,” he pleaded. “I was out of line. I should have talked to you sooner.”

“Yes you were and you should have,” Magnus agreed, resuming the soothing touches. “But I cut you out when it was clear you needed me. And for that, I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Alec offered. “I – When I saw that woman here, standing so close to you, I lost it.”

“I know,” Magnus murmured. “I’ve asked Catarina to deal with Camille’s request. She wasn’t happy but she’ll do it.”

Alec felt warmth spread through his chest. “Magnus, you shouldn’t have…”

“Yes, I should have. Alec, you are my priority, remember?”

“I – Thank you,” he exhaled, sending a grateful glance to Magnus. “I’m sorry, Magnus.”

Magnus hummed, nodding in acknowledgement. “What happened yesterday?”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“How about from the beginning?”

Alec should have been reluctant to confess all of his poor choices but somewhat it felt liberating. He let it all out. From the way he had been feeling since the encounter with Camille at the Cape, to how her words had pushed all the wrong buttons and had kept going around his head, to the way he had needed Magnus the day before but had lied about it, to how his insecurities had lead him to behave like a jealous teen. Magnus nodded and hummed during the story but tensed up as soon as Alec started to talk about the drinking, and the foolish hunt, and how if Raphael wouldn’t have been there, the demons would have had the better of him.

Alec paused, his eyes flicking to Magnus' face, assessing his mood. Magnus' jaw was clenched tight, his eyes closed, arms tightening around Alec but he didn’t interrupt once. So Alec finished the story. “I broke three of your rules,” he confessed. “I’m sorry.”

Magnus was silent for a long time. Alec suspected he was trying his best to keep a lid on his temper, to refrain himself from snapping at him. Confessing his sins had been the first step toward forgiveness, Alec realized, starting to feel just a little better about the situation. he had confessed and now it was out of his hands. He could let go and accept the consequences, sure in the knowledge that Magnus would take care of him.

“Oh, Alexander.” The lightness of Magnus’ voice sounded a little forced. “You never do things by halves, do you?”

Alec snorted. “Not likely.”

Magnus let him go slowly, climbing off the bed and extending his hand to Alec. “Come with me.” His voice was surprisingly calm. He was still obviously trying to control himself.

Alec was ready to face the consequences of his actions but Magnus looked so angry under the calm façade. He could almost perceive the anger simmering under the surface. He grabbed Magnus’ hand and stood, trying to find some semblance of balance. “I – You are angry.”

Magnus steadied him with a strong arm around his waist. “I am upset,” he conceded.

Alec felt his stomach fill with butterflies with every step toward the living room. “Uh, Magnus. What happened to not dealing out discipline in anger?” he blurted out.

Magnus stilled, turning around and cupping his face. “Oh no, Alec. That still stands,” he said, voice soft. “We are going to have breakfast, then you need more rest. We can talk about it when you will feel better. When both of us will feel better.”

Alec wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. He wanted to get rid of the stress, the pain, the horrible guilt. He wanted to feel like he had earned the forgiveness but he couldn’t help to feel grateful for the reprieve. He _did_ feel like hell after all.

**

Alec didn’t think he’d be able to eat. Just thinking about food made his stomach churn in protest. He eyed warily the food spread on the table.

Magnus insisted though, handing him over a plate filled with plain toast and fruit. “Eat. You’ll feel better. Trust me.”

Turned out, Magnus was right. When Alec was halfway through his breakfast, his stomach started to settle. He was suddenly hit by a thought, stopping mid-chew. “Magnus, what time is it?”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ve already called Isabelle and let her know you were unwell.”

Alec considered protesting but then, he _was_ sick. The Institute could go on without him for one day. “Thank you,” he said. “What about your clients?”

“I’ve cleared my schedule,” Magnus answered, reaching out to fill his plate again. “I can do the same for tomorrow if you wish.”

After that they continued to eat in silence, until Alec’s phone started to ring. He took it out of his pocket. “It’s Izzy.”

“I’ll give you some privacy then.” Magnus started to lift himself from the chair but Alec grabbed his hand.

“Stay,” he said. “Please.” Magnus nodded and interlaced their fingers with a small smile.

“Izzy,” Alec greeted.

“Oh, Thank God. I was not sure you were up but Magnus called _hours_ ago and I have been so worried,” she said worry clear in his voice. “How are you, Alec? Raphael told me what happened.”

 _Great_. His sister was still seeing the vampire and it seemed he had no compunction about spilling everything to _her_. “I’ve been better,” he admitted. “I’ll survive.”

“Don’t joke Alec.” She sounded upset. “What the hell were you thinking, brother?”

She sounded really angry and he winced at her tone of voice. “I know, Izzy,” Alec said quietly. “Magnus is already going to give me hell for it, I don’t need your lecture.” He spluttered as soon as Magnus arched an eyebrow and he realized what he had just said.

“Good,” Izzy said. Then she relented. “Are you going to be okay?”

Alec looked at Magnus, face still set in harsh lines around the edges but eyes full of love. “Yeah,” he breathed. “I will.”

“Do you want me to cover for you for tomorrow too? You could use the rest.” Her voice was still soft but amusement was starting to creep in.

He snorted. “That won’t be-“ Then he thought about Magnus’s words. _I can do the same for tomorrow if you wish_. He could be selfish for once, couldn’t he? “Actually, I think that I could use the extra rest.”

He knew it was the right thing when Magnus squeezed his hand, his smile reaching his eyes for the first time of the day.

**

They had spent most of the day sleeping together and now they were lazily sprawled on the couch, Chairman Meow across their laps. Alec felt like himself again. Physically at least. His emotions were still all over the place. He knew he should have been worried about his hide but he couldn't bring himself to worry too much. This time he knew what to expect and the anticipation hadn’t been as bad as the previous time. Besides, he had been feeling so stressed in the last few days that he almost welcomed the release.

Magnus straightened up, shifting on the couch to look at Alec. The cat let out an offended mewl, jumping off their laps and disappearing, probably looking for a better place where to sleep. Magnus' eyes followed the feline's movement, mouth curling up in an amused smile. Then he turned to look at him. “How are you feeling?”

Alec’s heart beat faster. “Much better,” he said. “I’m good.” He took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

“Maybe you should rest some more,” Magnus suggested, eyes softening. “We could deal with it tomorrow.”

Alec could have cried at the thought of waiting until the day after. “No, I’m good,” he said hurriedly. “Please, Magnus. I want to get it over with, so tomorrow we can enjoy some time together.”

Magnus seemed to consider it, then he took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and steeled himself. “Very well,” he conceded. “It’s time then.” He got to his feet and offered his hand to Alec.

This time they walked to the guest room hand in hand.

**

Chairman Meow apparently had chosen the guest room as his hideout. He was perched on the armchair, licking happily his front paws.

Magnus shooed him from the room and closed the door. “We can’t upset the Chairman.”

Alec snorted. “Are you kidding me? Are you worried about the _cat_? I’m the one who’s gonna end up upset here.”

The corners of Magnus’ mouth lifted up in a small smile, a huffed chuckle slipping past his lips. “Cheeky thing,” he said with fondness, reaching out to caress Alec’s cheek. Then he marched to the bed and took his seat, beckoning Alec over. 

There was no need to talk things through if you asked Alec. They had already done a lot of talking in the morning and some more in the evening. Nonetheless, Magnus made sure to go over the rules Alec had broken and waited for Alec’s acceptance.

“You know what to do.” Magnus’ voice was firm but there was a certain wariness to it as he issued the order. He looked grim.

Alec remembered how Magnus was affected the last time. He was determined to take this stoically, not wanting to distress Magnus further. “Yes, Sir.”

Alec started to undress, removing first his shoes. He was about to remove his pants when he heard the snap of Magnus’ fingers. _Oh God_ , he thought. Magnus was summoning that evil thing again. Alec’s behind tingled in remembrance. As soon as Alec was undressed he noticed that _no_ , that wasn’t the same paddle as last time. It was smaller, thin, and wooden. It almost resembled a kitchen spatula in size but it had a shorter handle. It looked oddly innocuous but Alec knew looks could deceive. He swallowed and looked hesitantly at Magnus.

“Come here.” Magnus said, frowning as he seemed to read the hesitancy in Alec’s posture. “Unless you would prefer bending over the bed?”

Alec thought about it. Bending over would have been a more dignified choice maybe. But he could still remember the warmth of Magnus’s body, the comfort of his proximity. There was no choice to be made. “No, this is okay,” he said, before assuming the same position as last time.

He shivered when Magnus placed his hand on the small of his back and positively gasped when the implement was positioned on his ass, instead of Magnus’ right hand. “Uh, Magnus?” he asked warily. “What happened to working up to it?”

“I thought that since last time didn’t leave enough of an impression, we needed to take a different approach.” Magnus’ voice was steely. Then he sighed. “Last time I allowed you some leniency, remember?” he reminded Alec in a kind voice.

Alec remembered. What Magnus had left unsaid was that this time Alec had broken three rules, including the most important of them all. “Yeah.” 

“I’m taking into account my own actions,” Magnus offered in reassurance.

“Magnus, you didn’t – It wasn’t your fault.”

“Are you seriously questioning me on this?” Amusement was blending with bafflement in Magnus' voice.

Alec supposed that it was a rather stupid thing to do. Magnus had promised some kind of mercy and he was questioning it? Alec thought he must have gone insane but thing was, the guilt and the stress had been eating at him all day. He didn’t want mercy. He needed the pain and he wanted the absolution, a quick mean to shut up the loud thoughts in his head. _Still_. “No, Sir.”

Magnus took a deep breath. “Ready?” He waited for Alec’s assent and then patted the paddle lightly as a warning on Alec’s ass, before lifting it up and bringing it back down with a loud crack.

Alec had been expecting some sort of hard thud and the _mighty_ sting took him by surprise. His eyes snapped open, a low curse making its way out of his throat. After the first blow, the following swats were delivered with less force but they left a fiery sting behind nonetheless. Magnus set a steady pace of milder swats, breaking the pattern once in a while to administer one well-placed hard smack.

 _Fuck stoicism_ , Alec thought when blow number ten landed. The heat was building much faster than last time and he couldn't help himself from letting out a undignified yelp. He jerked, hissing when a particularly vicious stroke found purchase on his ass. “Fuck.” his voice sounded ragged even to his own ears. “Magnus.”

Just like the last time, the pressure on his lower back wavered at his vocalization of distress but the next swat landed with unwavering strength.

Alec welcomed the pain in a way. It was helping him to let go of all the negative feelings he had been experiencing and, just like the first time, he found himself thinking that this was where he was supposed to be. He felt the weight that had been pressing painfully on his lungs like a block of concrete, starting to fracture at the acknowledgement. As he thought about what had lead him in this position, the first tears started to fall just as the pressure on his lungs created spidery rifts on the concrete block.

Alec focused on the ascent and descent of the cursed thing, breathing through the pain, whole body jerking with each fall, every blow bringing down a slab of concrete from the block in its wake.

When Magnus paused and rubbed soothing circles on his lower back, Alec could feel the block trembling, pebbles scattering all over the place. He let out a quiet sob.

“Do we need to go over the reasons for this punishment again?” Magnus asked.

Alec had been thinking about them for the whole day, he could do without the reminder. “No,” he panted. “No, Sir.”

“Are we going to find ourselves in this position again?”

Alec wanted to point out that he was the one in the awkward and painful position. “No,” he said instead. “No.”

“I really hope so.” Magnus’ hand stopped rubbing his back and stilled again. “Ten more should suffice then,” he sentenced.

“Magnus, _please,_ ” Alec begged, not sure about what he was begging for. Was he begging him to stop? To keep going? His ass was throbbing and a part of Alec wanted the pain to stop. Even more unbearable was the pressure building over his lungs, threatening to bring the block down, just another little nudge needed. The other part of Alec craved just that.

“Risking your life is _not_ an option. I need to make sure you know it will have unpleasant consequences.” Magnus’ voice was stony. “Can you accept that?”

Alec nodded but apparently it wasn’t enough for Magnus because a resounding swat landed on his ass, making him jump.

“Verbal answers, Alexander.”

“Yes – ah – yes, Sir,” he managed through gritted teeth.

“Nine more then.” Magnus patted softly his back. “We’ll be done soon,” he murmured.

Alec gripped the sheet tighter and braced himself for the last strokes. They landed in a measured pace, each of them hitting his ass and reverberating with force inside his ribcage, taking down the block piece by piece and eliciting small sobs from Alec’s throat.

Alec vaguely registered when Magnus threw away the implement, or the clattering sound it made as it landed on the floor. He was suddenly pulled up and into Magnus' strong arms. He wrapped his own around his boyfriend’s neck, holding on to him, craving the comfort and the forgiveness. Magnus held Alec tightly to his chest with his right hand, rubbing his back with his left one.

“It’s okay, it’s over,” Magnus murmured, caressing his back in soothing circles. “You are forgiven, darling.”

As soon as those words slipped out of Magnus’ mouth, Alec held on to him for dear life, something inside of him shifting, pulling, and _tugging_. As the dam broke and he started to cry in earnest, he felt the block crashing down which such force that he could almost taste the fragmented dust in his mouth. It was such an intense feeling. The pressure was suddenly gone from his lungs and Alec was able to _breathe_ again. He grabbed Magnus tighter.

“Magnus,” he croaked. “ _Magnus_.” he hoped his tone would convey what he was feeling because he wasn’t able to say more.

“I know,” Magnus murmured. “I’m here.”

Just like the last time both teary-eyed men ended up laying on the bed, Magnus holding Alec until he calmed down, making him drink some water and holding him some more.

As they were going out of the room, Alec’s gaze fell on the implement laying abandoned on the floor. “Magnus.” He pointed to it with a grimace. “Can we burn that _nasty_ thing?”

Magnus let out an amused chuckle. “As you wish, darling.” With a wave of his hand, the small paddle turned into ashes. “You know I can summon another one, right?” 

Alec snorted loudly. _Soft boyfriend my ass._

**

They were snuggling peacefully on the couch after a quiet dinner. Despite the small nap, Alec was so worn out that he was considering suggesting to move to the bedroom for some much-needed rest.  When the intercom buzzed, Magnus frowned, reluctantly getting to his feet and walking to the door. After a short conversation he pressed the button and opened the door.

He was back in the living room shortly after, frowning and holding a big package in both hands. He placed it on the coffee table and opened it, letting out a huff of laughter and obviously making an effort to hold in his mirth. 

Alec’s curiosity won over his exhaustion. He straightened up, leaning forward to see what had Magnus in a fit of giggles.

As soon as he peeked over the edge of the box, he spluttered in outrage. Inside the box was what looked like a fine bottle of whisky, placed over a fluffy pillow. Magnus took the the bottle reverently in his hand and put it aside. Then he took out the pillow and threw it on the couch next to Alec.

“I believe this is for you, darling,” he managed to say between undignified giggles.

Alec was about to retort with a very colorful sentence but he stopped as he noticed the little note on the bottom of the empty box.

_I believe in payment for services rendered._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the chapter that I spent the most time working on. I went as far as researching implements and I spent a fair amount of time reading spanking boards, trying to come up with something adequate but not too extreme. The general consensus was that this kind of small, thin implement packs quite a sting but doesn't leave lasting damage. The opinion on the number of strokes seemed to vary greatly from person to person, so I decided to let you choose how many Alec had. You know for sure that he had 20, that could be it if you decide to imagine so, or they could be more.


	13. For everyone to see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus explores Alec's exhibitionist side a little further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is very pleased with your amazing comments, so my Alec is happy and he would like to thank all of you! :)  
> No specific warnings for this chapter, just a bit of making out in public.

Alec was in the shower, head thrown back, enjoying the hot spray of water over his body. The water was working miracles on his sore muscles and the thought of how they had gotten sore in the first place had him hard in seconds. It took every ounce of his self-control to fight the overwhelming urge to stroke himself. He sighed, trying to will his erection down. Magnus wouldn’t be pleased if he touched himself without permission. He had made clear that he was the one in charge of Alec’s pleasure in more than one occasion.

He hummed to himself, thinking about the previous day as he rinsed his hair. They had spent most of the day naked. After the emotionally draining discipline, Alec had been feeling especially needy and Magnus hadn’t minded. He had indulged Alec’s clinginess and the sex afterward had been intense. Alec smiled at the thought.

He stepped out of the shower, still rock-hard. He dried himself quickly, deciding to skip his clothes in favor of a robe.  When he joined Magnus in the kitchen, breakfast was already laid on the table. Magnus smiled warmly at him, standing to meeting him halfway,  greeting him with a soft kiss.

When they pulled back, Magnus arched an eyebrow. “Have you behaved yourself for me in the shower, Alexander?”

Alec stepped closer and pressed his erection against Magnus' hip. “Yeah,” he breathed. “Have I earned my reward?”

Magnus reached for his cock and stroked it deliberately slowly through the fabric, stepping away immediately after. “Breakfast first,” he said, walking away and taking a seat at the table “If you’ll be good for me, I might be inclined to reward you.” 

“Magnus,” Alec whined. “You bastard,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that?” Magnus' voice was deceptively sweet.

“Nothing,” Alec replied, taking his own seat. “I’ll be good.”

“That’s what I thought.” Magnus smiled and started to load his plate. “Shall we?”

By the time they finished their breakfast, Alec was frantic with need. His sadistic boyfriend had tortured him for the whole meal, teasing him with brushes of his finger, driving him mad with sinful sounds, making Alec feel jealous of food.  After their breakfast, Magnus had been true to his word, putting an end to his yearning. Alec had earned his reward, Magnus delivered.

Alec had needed another shower and he had been late for work.

He had no regrets.

**

The mundane club was nothing like Alec would have imagined. It wasn’t overly loud. There wasn’t music blaring from speakers but rather a pleasurable ambiance melody. People migled easily, chatting around them, drinking, some of them making out inside the boots. If Alec focused enough he could hear the sounds coming from the backrooms, but that was it. As far as BDSM-friendly cubs went, it was rather tame. He suspected that Magnus had chosen it with Alec in mind.

Alec hadn’t been sure this kind of club would be his scene. He had never been a clubbing person. But Magnus was, and Alec was so eager to please him and push his own limits that he had suggested the idea. Magnus had seemed surprised but he had agreed eagerly. A few days later, he had proposed the mundane place.

Now they were sitting in a mostly secluded boot, finishing their drinks. Suddenly Magnus looked at him with a mischievous look and Alec started to sweat,thinking that look never bode well for him. Magnus waved his hand nonchalantly and Alec had to bite back a moan as an intense jolt of pleasure went through his spine. He could do nothing to stifle his gasp when a phantom touch traveled all over his body, unable to keep quiet under the invisible assault. When another wave of Magnus’ hand sent another spark of electricity through his body, he doubled over with a hissed curse, gripping the edge of the small table in front of him.

“Something the matter, Alexander?” Magnus sounded incredibly pleased with himself.

Alec tried to catch his breath. “Y-you – You…”

“I’m afraid I can’t understand you,” Magnus teased. “Speak in full sentences.”

Alec looked wildly around, afraid someone could see. “Magnus.”

Magnus made a point of looking deliberately around as well. “Ah,” he said. “I think you’ll have to be quiet then.”

Magnus hadn’t even finished the sentence when another spark of magic hit Alec, hard. He threw his head back with a gasp, hard cock straining the denim of his black jeans, waves of pleasure rippling through his body.  The thought that other people could be able to see him like that was turning him impossibly on. He had never pegged himself as an exhibitionist but there was no denying the thrill of excitement.

“Magnus, please," he breathed, fingers tightening further around the edge of the table, not even knowing what he was asking for.

“Patience, Alexander.” Magnus winked, flexing his fingers nonchalantly and sending another spark of magic through Alec's body. “You know you have to earn your reward. Now, be a good Nephilim for me, will you?”

After that, wave after wave of magic alternated with phantom thouches, reducing Alec to a writhing mess. Magnus looked unfazed, calm facade betrayed only by the lust in his eyes. Eyes that were burning on Alec's body just as much as the magic was. When Alec was sure he couldn't take more stimulation without starting to scream, Magnus stopped.  Alec sagged on the couch with relief, still trembling, still feeling faint trace of magic running in his system.

“Come here. Sit on my lap.” Magnus said conversationally, his words sending a thrill through Alec’s body that had nothing to do with magic.

Alec hesitated just a few seconds,torn between embarrassment and desire. In the end, desire won. He scooted closer to Magnus, climbing on his lap, blushing and ducking his head in the crook of  Magnus’ neck when a couple walked by. Magnus’ hand trailed down his back in a sensual caress, igniting the spark of arousal once more, making him shiver in anticpation.

“Look at you,” Magnus whispered, voice husky. “All pliant under my touch. For everyone to see.”

Alec let out a quiet moan when the words registered, impossibly hard, feeling moisture starting to gather at the tip of his cock. He gasped as Magnus’s hand trailed from his back to his hip, fingers closing around it in a firm grip.

“I was going to make you wait,” Magnus whispered, his mouth brushing the shell of Alec’s ear. “But I think I’d rather see you come for me. Right here.”

Alec’s breath hitched. “You – You can’t mean that…”

“Oh yes. I mean exactly that, Alexander,” he said, teeth scraping lightly over the soft skin of Alec's neck. “You _will_. After bringing me off, of course." He pushed Alec back and pointed to his groin. “Unbutton my pants.”

Alec swallowed back a moan, trembling fingers reaching for Magnus' belt, heart hammering wildly in his chest. He managed to unbuckle the belt and push the zipper down, glancing around himself before taking Magnu's cock and moving his hand in a tentative stroke. He was rewarded by the low moan slipping out of Magnus' lips, by the tightening of the grip over his hips. He set a faster pace, blushing red, incredibly aroused by the prospect of being caught in the act. Magnus must have been on the edge for some time because it didn’t take much for him to arch his back and shoot his release all over Alec’s hand and his own shirt, Alec's name on his lips.

Alec was panting hard, crazy with the need to come and yet, dreading to do so in such a public setting. He felt Magnus’ hand linger on his clothed cock, barely applying the pressure he so desperately needed. 

Magnus leaned over and whispered in his ear. “I’m not going to touch you. You will come from my magic only.”

Magnus’ hand left his cock and hovered just above it. The first tingle of magic took Alec by surprise, making him jerk, drawing a quiet moan from his lips. The magic was unrelenting, wave after wave, stimulating his cock, bringing him closer and closer with every spark. The pressure built and keep building until Alec could feel his balls tighten, his orgasm so close he could almost taste it.

“I- _ah_ – I’m going to…” Alec almost sobbed when the magic stopped coming.

“Manners, Alexander.” Magnus accompanied his words with another tiny spark of magic.

Alec groaned, body trembling over Magnus' lap. “May I come?” he panted. “ _Please_.”

The magic was back full force. “You may,” Magnus conceded. “Come for me.”

And just like that Alec buried his face in Magnus' neck and came with a muffled scream, the orgasm rippling through him with such intensity he felt his nerve endings torn to shreds.

Magnus held him, his arms wrapped around Alec like a blanket, his lips pressed against Alec's neck. Both of them were panting hard, trying to come down from their powerful orgasms, the noises around them fading, Alec's wordl reduced to the two of them.

After they managed to catch their breaths, Magnus cleaned them both with a flourish of his manicured hand. “You were perfect,” he said, leaning over to place a kiss over Alec's forehead.

Alec smiled, Magnus’ words sending a warm glow inside his chest. He felt like he could stay wrapped in Magnu's arms for hours but his mouth was uncomfortably dry. “I’m thirsty,” he said, at last.

Magnus straightened up, gently disentangling himself from Alec. “I’ll go get us something to drink,” he said, standing and straightening his shirt. “Or do you want to move to the stools?”

Alec didn’t think he could muster the energy to get up. Not yet. “No, I’ll be fine here.”

“I’ll be right back.” Magnus flashed him a brief smile and turned around, striding toward the bar.

Alec felt like jelly. It had been one of the most intense orgasms of his life. He would never have thought exhibitionism could make for such and intense experience and he was glad he had decided to push his limits. _That_ had been something else.

He was brought back to reality when a man’s voice reached him from behind. “What is a pretty thing like you doing all on his own?” 

He jerked back ashe felt a touch over his shoulder, turning around and glaring at the stranger. “Back off!” 

“There is no need to get worked up.” The man raised his hands in surrender, the muscles of his forearms flexing with the movement. “I thought we could have some fun.”

Alec supposed the stranger could have passed off as attractive, if one was into bulky, overly muscular men. Still, his attitude would have rubbed Alec the wrong way even if he hadn't been tryng to recover from a mind-blowing orgasm. “Fuck off!”

The man apparently couldn't take no for an answer. He eyed Alec speculatively, taking a step closer to him. As he reached out to touch Alec again, an icy voice rang clearly inside the boot.

“I suggest you to step away from my boyfriend.” Alec had never heard Magnus’ voice sound so hard, not even when they were playing. Magnus circled the couch, placed himself behind Alec and put a possessive hand on his shoulder.

The stranger looked startled for a moment, understanding flashing briefly in his eyes. He seemed unfazed if the shrug was any indication. “Hey, I meant no harm,”  he said, mouth stretching in a smirk. “You have a very mouthy sub.”

Alec startled. Was he so obvious? Then he glanced at Magnus and realized that _he_ wasn’t the one being obvious after all. Magnus’s back was ramrod straight, his face hard, eyes glinting dangerously. Everything about him screamed _dominance_. Alec shivered, remembering the last time someone had tried to flirt with him. Magnus had played with Alec for hours, marking Alec’s skin with his mouth over and over, claiming ownership of every single part of his body, before claiming Alec himself with hard thrusts of his cock. Alec’s breath hitched in anticipation of a repeat performance.

“That would be none of your business.” Magnus’ voice brooked no argument.

“Relax,” the stranger answered, holding a hand up. But he seemed to have no self-preservation, after all. “I was thinking maybe we could bring him in one of the backrooms and teach him some-“

“ _Do not_ finish that sentence,” Magnus said in a low, very dangerous voice. The grip on Alec’s shoulder tightened.

Alec could swear he saw Magnus' eyes flash yellow. He placed his hand over Magnus', still resting over his shoulder. “Magnus, stop it.” He couldn’t have Magnus kill a mundane in a fit of jealousy and breach the accords, no matter of much the idea was appealing.

Magnus took a deep breath and seemed to regain some control. “Now, _go,_ ” he hissed, glaring at the man.

The guy shrugged. “Suit yourself.” With a last dirty look, he turned around, starting to walk away, muttering about mouthy and insubordinate subs.

Magnus was immediately at Alec’s side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Magnus, I’m good,” Alec replied with a smile. In truth, he would have been more than able to deal with the obnoxious man but he secretly enjoyed Magnus’ possessive side.

Magnus smiled back, waving casually one hand. There was a sudden commotion and when Alec turned around, he saw the stranger sprawled on the floor, apparently after tripping on his own feet. He turned back to Magnus, eyebrow cocked up in question.

Magnus raised one of his own and huffed out a laugh. Then his mouth stretched in a mischievous smile, eyes darting to the man still struggling to get up. “How… undignified. Don’t you think?”

Alec let out quiet chuckle and soon they were laughing together, everything else forgotten. After their breathing was back to normal, Alec looked at Magnus. “Do you think I’m a mouthy and insubordinate sub?”

“Oh, Alexander.” Magnus smiled, cupping Alec’s cheeks with both of his hands. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

**

As soon as they stepped though the portal in their living room, Magnus slammed Alec on the wall, claiming his mouth in a kiss. The kiss was deep, fierce, enough to send hot streaks of arousal through Alec's spine. He recognized the claim for what it was, a show of possessiveness, of dominance. The anticipation he had been feeling at the club, crashed back over him full force. He let out a quiet whine when Magnus pulled back and stepped away, assessing Alec with hungry eyes, the hunger in there enough to send Alec's mind spiraling in a hazy cloud of lust.

“Wait for me on the bed. I want you completely naked," Magnus barked the order, pointing toward the bedroom. "On your back.”

Alec bowed his head in assent and hurried to obey, walking to the bedroom and assuming the requested position, skin tingling with anticipation. After less than five minutes, Magnus joined him in the bedroom. He was holding Alec’s favorite bonds in one hand and the small, soft suede flogger that drove Alec to insanity every single time Magnus used it on him. His cock twitched at the sight.

“Now,” Magnus whispered, walking to the bed, a predatory smile on his lips. “Let’s remind you who you belong to.” 

 _Oh Yes_. Alec _definitely_ loved Magnus’ possessive side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this, I hope you enjoyed it. :)


	14. Free To Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introspection and feelings. Some sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think this chapter warrants special warnings. Notes and thanks at the end. :)

Alec was sprawled lazily on the couch, Chairman Meow on his lap, purring happily at Alec’s touch. He had been able to leave the Institute earlier and now he was waiting for Magnus, who was in a meeting with other warlocks and would be home soon.

He was enjoying the quiet, broken only by the soft purring sounds and the crackle of the fire burning in the fireplace, flames casting a warm glow over the room. Alec’s mind wandered to Magnus and the relationship they had built together. During the last year they had grown more and more comfortable within their roles. And Alec had learned that it was okay to let himself go, because Magnus was always there to catch him. Letting go of control hadn’t been easy at the beginning but once Alec had started to relax and give all of himself to Magnus, it had been easier. Alec felt free in a way he never would have thought possible. Ironically, losing control had set him free.

With Magnus he could be himself. He could let go of all of his worries and _breathe_. After a hard day, he would find solace by kneeling at Magnus' side, one hand carding softly through his hair the only thing keeping him anchored to reality. On other days, they would just snuggle together and forget about the whole world. Then there were the lust-driven days, and Alec could never have enough of them. The sex was magnificent and these were some of the moments when Alec fully submitted to Magnus. They had tried many things. Magnus had introduced him to levels of pleasure he wouldn’t have imagined could exist.

There had been a few bumps along the road but Alec had learned to deal with his insecurities and, with Magnus’ help, he had been able to overcome some of them. There had even been some errors in judgement and Alec had had to experience the extent of Magnus' displeasure on his ass in a couple of occasions, but he had learned to take better care of himself. He had even gotten used to Izzy’s knowing smiles whenever he would suggest a safer approach to a new mission.

Alec had fully embraced his submissive side and he was happy. Honestly and truly _happy_.

_Submission._

It was such an easy word to define, Alec would know, he had learned the definition by heart. But things were never so simple, Alec thought. There was _so much more_ to it. Submitting for Alec wasn’t just an act. It had slowly become like breathing. Just thinking about the word tugged at something deep inside of him. That part of him that would do _anything_ to please Magnus, that part of him that felt like he belonged, that part of him that basked in Magnus' praise.

_Good boy. You please me. You did very well. I’m proud of you._

Before this, there were times when his head had felt so heavy, his thoughts all over the place, and he had felt like he had to make a huge effort to get at the end of the day and crash on the bed. Now he could let go, let someone else take the reins for a while and just be. Following Magnus’ orders kept him grounded, letting Magnus take control made him feel safe, cared for. Alec had lost most of that tight drawn tension he used to feel building inside of him and sparking all around him like electricity.

Magnus took him apart piece by piece and pulled him back together over and over. And every time the pieces were less sharp around the edges, they matched just a little better.

Alec was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the swirling portal forming in the room, and he was startled when Magnus stepped out of it and landed gracefully in front of him.

**

Later Alec found himself on the bed, arms cuffed to the bedposts, legs free and spread wide, a dark blindfold placed snugly over his eyes. He could remember stripping and laying down but it was like a blur, his body had moved almost on its own accord in a lust-driven haze. He could remember the way Magnus had secured his arms to the frame, the soft touch on the back of his head while nimble fingers tied the blindfold. None of that mattered now, all it mattered was being there, restrained to the bed at Magnus’ mercy and feeling like he had never been so free. Free to feel, free to let go, free to _fall_.

This was far from one of the most extreme things they had been doing, but to Alec felt perfect nonetheless. The air felt charged, like there was a static quality to it, a thrill of excitement that made him shiver in anticipation.

The darkness amplified everything around him. He was attuned to every noise, the smallest sounds reverberating over him with perfect clarity. The rustle of Magnus’ clothes as he took them off, the sound of his light steps as he approached the bed, he could even hear the wood crackling inside the fireplace in the living room. His own labored breath was almost too loud. He felt like the images couldn’t be so vivid in his mind if his eyes were to be wide open.

He opened his mouth in a silent gasp as he felt Magnus’ touch on his breastbone. Laying there in the dark, he _felt_. He could feel every single feather-like touch burning down his torso, tracing runes in its path. He could feel Magnus’ hot breath against his skin. Magnus' voice, when he whispered in his ear, sent an electric spark down his spine.

“I will take my time with you tonight, Alexander.” Magnus paused only to trace the deflect rune on Alec’s neck with his tongue. “I will explore every part of your body. I will push you to the edge and then start all over again.” he bit the shell of Alec’s ear. “I will _devour_ you.”

“Yes, please,” he whispered back. He was barely aware of the way his whole body was trembling, of his own ragged breath. If he concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel Magnus’ gaze raking all over his body, like a physical touch. Magnus' scent heady enough to make him dizzy.

Then Magnus started his game and Alec lost himself to sensation. He held his breath in anticipation every time Magnus approached, wondering where the next touch would land, wondering if his mouth would bring pain or pleasure, feeling Magnus’ whispered words against his skin like a caress. It was _intoxicating_.

Magnus was true to his word, and Alec lost count of the times he pushed him to the edge, only to start teasing, and kissing, and biting, and licking his body all over again.

After what felt like an eternity, Magnus stepped back. When he summoned the lube, Alec could almost feel the familiar tingle of magic as if it were his own. He shivered, waves of anticipation rippling through his body and threatening to pull him apart.

When he felt the tip of a finger teasing him, Alec could have sobbed, the shiver turning into full-on trembling, eyes screwed shut against the onslaught of sensation.

When Magnus finally breached him, Alec stopped breathing, the moment felt almost solemn.

When Magnus started to move, Alec felt all the air rush back to his lungs and he took a few ragged breaths, as the first tears started leaking from his eyes.

Slow pace at first, then more urgent, until Magnus was thrusting almost frantically, his pelvis slamming loudly against Alec’s ass with every stroke. The sounds reverberated sharply through Alec’s body and he could feel his orgasm building, like a tidal wave threatening to crash him on a rock with enough force to shatter him.

For the first time Alec begged. “ _Please_. I need…” It was a hushed, breathless plea, as if he was afraid to break the solemnity of the moment if he raised his voice, as if there was no place for anything ese beyond whispered words.

As he felt one of Magnus’ hands grip tightly his cock, he let out a low moan, body taut with need, his whole being focused on the almost burning touch.

“Come for me, Alexander,” Magnus panted. “Give me your pleasure.”

And Alec would give him everything. He came with a strangled gasp, arms tugging at the restrains, the orgasm hitting him with such intensity that he could almost feel himself shattering against that rock, as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over him, leaving him spent and breathless, pieces of him scattered all over the place. He heard his name on Magnus' mouth as he emptied himself inside of Alec, felt the weight of Magnus’ body as he crashed on him and claimed his mouth in a kiss. It was wet, intense, messy, Alec’s mouth moving on its own accord against Magnus'.

When they both managed to catch their breaths, Magnus started to remove the bonds first, then the blindfold. Alec’s mind reeled, while his eyes tried to adjust to the dim light in the room. He blinked a few times and the room slowly started to get back into focus, Magnus’ face straight in his line of vision, and no amount of imagination could compare to the real thing. Alec tried to clear his mind and just say something but he didn’t think he could muster the energy to conjure words, so he settled for a small, shaky smile. Tremors were still buzzing under his skin and he was not quite ready to let go of the moment and jolt back to full consciousness.

Magnus must have sensed it, because he cupped Alec’s face with both of his hands. “Now lie back,” he murmured. “And let me take care of you.”

Alec closed his eyes and leaned back with a contented sigh.

**

They were still curled together. Magnus was still rubbing and soothing Alec’s shoulders and arms and Alec had rarely felt so blissed out.

Magnus’ hands trailed down on his arm, touching gently the red marks around his wrist, then he bent forward and placed small kisses all over them. “Do you want me to heal them?” No matter how many times they did this, Magnus always asked.

Alec shifted closer to him. “Can you heal them in the morning?” was the usual answer.

Magnus looked at him with a smile. “Of course,” he said softly before kissing Alec. “Anything you want, darling.”

And as Alec snuggled even closer against Magnus, there was only one thought in his mind.

_This. There’s nothing else I want._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that we are at the end of the journey, I feel a little sad but also happy I decided to push myself and post this fic. Your support through the whole thing has touched me in ways I can't explain. I would like to take the time to thank you for all the kudos and, especially, for all the lovely comments and constructive criticism. Some of you have been with me every step of the way and I'm beyond grateful.  
> I'm not big on social media but if some of you want to keep in touch/send me little prompts, you can find me on Tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ladyoxymoron  
> My page is still empty but I'll figure it out soon, I hope. :)  
> *Hugs all of you and bows out.*


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